Dear Daughter,
The day I lost you what is one of the hardest days I’ve experienced in this lifetime. I felt a piece of my soul guy that goes. My first baby and my first real loss.
When people try to console me are making me feel better angered me because they said the stupidest things.
“Maybe she wasn’t meant to be here.“ “Maybe God knew you couldn’t handle two babies; focus on one.”
Those Hurt the worst.
They were trying to cheer me up, but those words hardened My heart. How could they be so heartless?
For the time you were here you were meant to be. You were meant to experience love for 12 days now it’s been 13 years since you’ve been gone my love for you has only grown in that time. People may have forgotten, but I haven’t. I haven’t forgotten how awesome you were sometimes I catch a glimpse of who you are through your sister. The first time I got to hold in touch you was the day that you died. It felt so good to Hold you. The night the hospital called to tell me you were ready to leave the Earth, I felt I wanted to go with you. I am grateful you stayed long enough for me to say goodbye when I got to hold you, You were so warm And I felt so much love and also your labored breathing.
As you took your last breath, I begged for you to stay. To my surprise, you open your eyes, just enough for me to see their beauty and smiled at me. Then you weren’t breathing anymore. That image of you smiling in my arms is the greatest gift ever given to me. It stayed on your face, even after You went to God. Thank you for letting me be your mom. It was an honor and privilege. I will always cherish it and the memories of you. Do you remember our favorite book? I Quote the best parts each time I think of you to relieve the loneliness.
Keep shining in heaven until we meet again. I love you. Thank you for visiting My dreams letting me know you are happy. I love that for you. I will carry you in my heart always and continue to be my best self that Your existence encouraged me to be.
Love mommy