My Tash,
This is one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write. When I speak or think your name, the tears form in my eyes and slowly start escaping down my cheek. Once the tears start, they don’t stop and they come down faster as the water over Niagara Falls.
When I think of you, I think of how beautiful you were inside and out. I think about how I had so much fun and was at my happiest when you were around. I think about no matter how hard you fought for great things, and the world stayed on top of you, that you found a way to always be genuine and caring. You stayed fighting for others and bringing peace.
I will never forget the night on June 2nd, 2020, when I received a call with dad sounding frantic. Shiba I’m at the hospital with Tash! Shiba does your sister have illnesses? Shiba is there anything wrong with your sister medically? I replied, only for him to hang up and call me back once again. They said they didn’t know what was wrong. Nothing is working.
Dad yelled at me to call mom and hung up. I called so many times. I know it was late. Not to mention the middle of the country doesn’t always have reception. Mom! Please answer! I wish I could have gotten through to her Tash. I tried.
Dad raced to the house and picked me up. No regards to covid or the red lights. He sped to the hospital. He told me to sit back and I told him “not until I made sure you were okay.” We make it to the hospital, and he smiles with the staff. They hand me my mask and we get through security. Dad pointed to the room and as my hands hit the door, he yelled out that you were gone.
I looked at him in disbelief and i pulled my arms back and pushed the door so hard and fast to walk around the curtain and see you on the table. The tube was in your mouth and your eyes were closed. I broke out loud in cries. Tash, you, my baby sister, was laying on the table, lifeless. All I could do was rub your hair and kiss your forehead like I always did when I came to see you. You were only 37!! How could this even happen?! You was never supposed to go before me.
My world was shattered. I could barely walk. I could barely stay in the room. I could barely stand up next to you. I protected you from everything I could and I failed you on this. I couldn’t protect you. I didn’t even know. I wasn’t there! I am now an empty shell. My best friend, my baby sister, I basically helped raise you. I took care of you like I was the mom. I miss you so.

Dear Tash,
It’s me again. Your babies are doing the most beautiful things. They are so grown up now. I know you are proud of them as you watch over them. You did an amazing job and I am also extremely proud of them.
I miss you. Your birthday and your pass days are still the hardest for me. Sometimes, tears escape just a little bit and sometimes they escape a lot. I will never forget you. I am honored and blessed to have ever had the chance to have you in my life. God said love your people because you never know when they will be needed back. I definitely didn’t know he needed you so soon. I loved you immensely when you were alive, and I love you just the same now. I just have an unwavering pain in my heart. I really miss you.
Your nieces and nephew are doing amazing things as well. Your newest great niece Winter is so cute and sweet like her brother. She would have loved you. The kids all miss you. Your friends still miss you. They visit my page often to check on me and feel a bit of you. You have really good friends Tash.
Thank you for the frequent dream visits and thank you for the birds, butterflies, ladybugs, breeze, dimes and rain. Thank you for the light flickers to let me know you are there. Thank you for your subtle touch on my arm or forehead when I am asleep or relaxing deep in thought. I know you are always here.
I love you so much Tash. I will never, ever forget you. No matter what I go through, you will aways be on my mind and always have a place in my heart. My baby sister. You were gone too soon. But one day, I will get to visit you and we will laugh and dance on the moon.
Love Always,
Shib

In loving memory of my little sister Natausha(Tash), an extraordinary woman who loved beyond fault and without boundaries. I cherish her forever.