fbpx

Activity

  • Go for your gold 2024 is a year not to fear!

    To my dearest family friends and fellow readers. This new energy that came through after the solar eclipse is amazing. I had a complete change in my thought and perspectives in life. The lord lifted the veil off my eyes and started showing me all the demonic and nasty energies that were affecting my life. I immediately removed myself from a home that I thought love me in Coldwater, Michigan and ended up growing. The people there had a nasty plot including my husband in which the marriage was paid and fake the whole time, to keep me there steal my energy and then put me in a grave. I should have been dead by all the witchcraft, car accident, and poising that happened. Why am i writing and telling you all this? The moral of the story is that you need to know who you are. As Children of God. This is the year where what happened in the dark will be brought to the light. Freedom for all of us that feel held down or like we couldn’t speak. God has a message for all of us worldwide, we were meant to shine. They don’t want us to get up go out and share our talents with the world. So, I write today get up, go out, show the world both your outer and inner beauty. If we share love like the Beetles said all u need is love accept I’m speaking in a Godly way the darkness will flee. All you need to defeat this darkness is simply prayer and praise. Listen to music dance, write a poem or a story. A new generation starts now we are the light in the world. We are the city on a hill, we will not be shaken. My fellow friends I encourage u to share happiness and healthiness in the world one person at a time. Start a story, start a blog, do discipleship. I’m your biggest cheerleader besides God of coarse. Grab your torch light up the world and win the race. Share joy peace love and happiness with every person you encounter. A smile is the best medicine I’m routing for ya. You Got this world. Get up, Get Dressed, Get to having your success.

    C Valle Earth Angel

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • The Last Word

    The Last Word

    Suffering hallucinations is quite real.
    My reputation has suffered acutely
    For those screams and moans. They only occur
    When I am tired beyond comprehension.

    I have cinematic dreams, and blinding green
    lights pulsate and revive, illuminating walls.
    Sometimes writing from my teaching years
    Appears in the air, a cloud of equations.

    My father is watching in his Rice sweatshirt.
    I am waiting for him to talk, but ghosts
    Must have their etiquette and methods.
    I don’t know what I would say if he appeared,

    I should probably write it down, just in case.
    He’s my phantom. I have so many questions
    I would have difficulty insisting on answers
    And perhaps equations cannot be solved

    Without mentioning heaven. It’s our final
    Inside joke. He told me I would always
    Have the last word. Sometimes it’s painful
    To be correct. I’m waiting for his voice

    To issue forward. I finally found
    The last word: silence. Silence and damages.

    –Erin Victoria Vreeland
    April 23, 2024

    erin victoria vreeland, mfa

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Don't wait up for me.

    I hope you weren’t up late that night waiting for me.
    I knew the hour wasn’t great to call.
    I had priorities in life-
    I felt my back against the wall.
    Also seemed there wasn’t much I could discuss with you or say.
    And then the moment changed my life.
    When I got word that you had passed away.
    I actually felt my world stop spinning .
    I stepped back taking look at myself.
    Knowing precisely at that moment –
    How Lonely that you must have felt.
    And every day that passes now
    You are in my thoughts more so.
    A better person I strive to be
    Because that’s the only way that I can grow.
    I want to say I am so sorry
    I wasn’t there when my time you did need.
    This Letter goes out to Someone…
    Remember to Cherish the people you Love
    Without selfishness & greed.

    Darlene L. Montoya

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Cierra Jackson shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 days, 19 hours ago

    The Nimbus

    Give me peaches like burning clouds.

    The vermillion mass of blankets reflects off the Vermilion Great Lakes.

    Like the raging sorrow and disbelief that my heart floats upon.

    Intensity blooms in the latitude as I see you for the last time.

    A weeping willow as I cry under the tree.

    Eyes drooping with rainstorms.

    Nothing more seems to amaze me.

    As the pull of your spirits linger.

    Sunshine beams fearlessly through the hurricane of Venus like clouds.

    “Be as thy presence is gracious and kind” something you would tell me when my mind tornadoes.

    Mind flustered with dazzling memories.

    Lightning over me with your nourishing energy that conveys everywhere I drift on Earth.

    Our compressed bond brings me back to resilience.

    I will always levitate on the sweet joy that you left behind.

    Cierra Jackson

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Sonya Eldridge shared a letter in the Group logo of Mental HealthMental Health group 1 days, 21 hours ago

    Defeating Bi-polar

    Today I have decided to tell my story. I suffer from bipolar. I was diagnosed with the mental disorder over 20 years ago. I have been through alot. It has been a real problem most of my life.
    It was triggered after I had my second child. It was a nightmare 😔. I ended up being hospitalized several times over the course of twenty years. I will do my best to explain the horror of it all. I remember having one episode after another. Each episode was very exhausting and dramatic. I would block out a lot of the different personalities and triggers of emotional dynamics. It was so 😫 tiring.
    I will try to explain one of my episodes to give you an idea of it all. Well, it all begins with not taking my medication. It slowly turns into a horror movie. I hear voices and act out several different personalities in my mind. I begin to have spells of crying dramatically having thoughts of despair. I was on edge and going down a bottomless pit of not wanting to be here anymore 😪. Yet, in most circumstances I didn’t want to kill myself because an angelic voice told me, ” no” don’t do it! I say, “okay” most times. Smh.
    In these drastic times I have family who did help me like my mother. And that was important and fortunate because at these times it is good to have positive support systems in your life.
    In most cases my family would call 911 and have a rescue squad come get me. In this case, I can’t stop crying. I wanted to leave! I wanted to go away! My family would say that I was going to the hospital. My main support is my mother. She was always there for me.
    Once the ambulance 🚑 arrived I felt like I was in a horrible movie. This has happened to me several times over the years. Yet on this particular case the ENT would come in from the ambulance slowly one my one. They see I’m distraught and incoherent. I don’t know who I was at this point. I’m yelling for no reason and crying for no reason. I can’t understand what is going on. The police also came in…and it got worse. They felt like I would hurt myself or others and so one officer threatened to taze me. I said please don’t..please give me some water to drink. They did.
    They slowly calmed me down and then my casemanager came in to also help out.
    They asked her several questions to understand why I was like this. She told them that I was bipolar. I am so sick at this point. I have felt supernatural powers around me. I would say, ” I see angels”. They weren’t really visible but a feeling of goodness and calming voices.
    So this contributes and adds to my psychotic behavior 🤔. That is what I felt.
    I want to tell you the experience of being INSIDE THE AMBULANCE 🚑. Once I get inside the ambulance I felt like i was being ported to an experimental place. I was scared!!!!!This particular personality in me was very informative. I was talking a great deal like I was literally someone else.
    One ENT said that he had never seen anything like this before. I finally got to the emergency room. Once there I begin, to yell and bring attention to myself. The police 🚔 officers were staring at me. A guard was placed at the entrance of my room door. I was being watched for over 24 hours. After a while a psychiatric doctor told me I would be admitted to a room in the hospital.
    Now, I was on the floor of the psychiatric unit. Once I was in my own room I was in a bed. In some cases I was given medication to help relax me and I would sleep for hours.
    So this was a particular bipolar experience. The next day, after being monitored I had to learn and come to appreciate little things again. Showering 🚿, brushing my teeth, wearing a hospital gown, and being served my breakfast lunch and dinner. This was a safe place.
    Once I stayed a couple of weeks I was let go. I had a team of supporters around to help me. I had a case worker, a psychiatrist, and medical doctor coming in to see me. I felt much better. This was going to begin to be a part of my life for over 20 years. It is hard. But I will say I’m currently doing ok. So remember you are not alone. Be positive. Find good supporters in your circumstances. I hope this helps someone. Thank you for hearing my story. I am beating bipolar.

    Sonya Eldridge

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Kevin Lowe shared a letter in the Group logo of Women's EmpowermentWomen's Empowerment group 3 days, 5 hours ago

    A Beacon of Light for Sexual Assault Survivors

    Have you ever felt trapped by a secret, burdened by its weight and wondering if sharing it could bring you relief or further pain? This is a silence many, unfortunately, know all too well.

    Today, I want to share with you the story of Lauren Brill, a woman whose journey from the depths of traumatic silence to the heights of empowerment and entrepreneurship is nothing less than inspirational.

    The Silence That Echoes
    In the aftermath of the night that would forever change Lauren’s story, she found herself in a place of silence—a silence shared by many who have experienced sexual assault. This silence is not just the absence of words but a stifling barrier to healing and understanding.

    For years, Lauren carried the heavy burden of her experience, shielded from the world, concerned about the impact its revelation would have on her loving parents.

    From Secret to Superpower
    Yet, in a pivotal moment of bravery, Lauren chose to share her story in an open letter to other sexual assault survivors. What happened next, Lauren could have never imagined.

    Her letter went viral! The professional athletes she had known as a sports reporter had her back. One person shared her letter, and that set off a chain reaction.

    And then something remarkable happened. Her secret, which once felt like a chain holding her back, finally shattered, setting her free! Lauren transformed her secret into her superpower!

    By breaking her silence, Lauren not only freed herself but also ignited a spark to challenge societal norms and advocate for others.

    With Transformation Comes Change
    As Lauren herself began to evolve, so did her outer world. What was, is no more. What once fit like a glove now feels too tight, too restrictive. Once a dream job in sports broadcasting no longer aligned with the woman she had become.

    Have you ever felt that a path you were on just didn’t fit who you were anymore? Did you stay on track, or did you make a change?

    Lauren made a monumental decision — to leave her once dream job and pursue a new dream.

    She founded ‘The Unsealed’, a platform that allows people to share their own stories of hurt and loss, wins and victories, challenges and opportunities. Ultimately, Lauren Brill chose authenticity over security.

    Building a Community of Courage & Trust
    ‘The Unsealed’ is more than a platform; it’s a community built on the power of vulnerability, trust, and courage. Here, individuals are encouraged to write open letters about their life experiences, each carrying a positive message of hope to the reader.

    This act of sharing is not just therapeutic—it’s transformative. It builds a bridge between isolation and community, fostering an environment where resilience flourishes through collective support.

    Your Role in This Story
    As you absorb the impact of Lauren’s story on your own life, consider how your own stories of silence could be unleashed to create a global movement. I encourage you to ask yourself those big questions…

    How could I use my own life-changing experiences to empower both myself and others? Whether it’s a conversation you need to have, a letter you need to write, or support you wish to offer, remember: your voice has power. Your story matters.

    Lauren’s transformation from a survivor of silence to a beacon of hope is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is hope to be found. Just understand, sometimes, we must travel down the road a ways before we are able to truly understand how the events of yesterday have impacted our lives today.

    So, the final question to be asked… What silence will you break? What new path will you forge? Let’s take inspiration from Lauren and move towards a future where our voices are heard, our stories are shared, and our spirits are unbreakable!

    Don’t Miss Lauren’s Full Story… Able to be heard inside of Episode #282 of the podcast – Grit, Grace, & Inspiration.

    Remember, you are amazing, incredible, and simply perfect, just as you are! Never let anyone or anything make you believe any different. Let your truth be heard and your light shine!

    Kevin Lowe - Podcast Host & Purpose-Driven Coach Grit, Grace, & Inspiration

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • You Will Survive

    When you feel caught in a vacuum
    Because people didn’t see the value,
    You brought to the kitchen table,
    Won’t change the fact that,
    You are more than capable.
    Your worth is immeasurable.
    You are very valuable.

    In a world that may seem unstable,
    Don’t let doubt make you retract,
    You have the power to impact.
    You are stronger than you think,
    And you are more than enough.
    You are loved even on the days you feel worse. 


    Keep running.
    Always believe in yourself, don’t hesitate,
    You have the potential to create.
    I know you can do it!
    See, you’re already doing it!
     
    Give yourself grace
    To run your own race.
    If you keep the faith alive,
    I know you will survive.

    -From Reflections of a Hopeful Romantic by Stephanie Anyaoha

    Stephanie Anyaoha, PMHNP (Steph Zion)

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • I love the strength in this piece:

      You have the power to impact.
      You are stronger than you think,
      And you are more than enough.
      You are loved even on the days you

      I am going to include it in today’s newsletter <3 Lauren

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

      • Lauren,
        Thank you so much for your kind words!
        I really appreciate your support!
        I wrote that piece when I was at a very low point in my life and wanted to give up.
        I hope it will inspire others to keep running their race.
        All the best!

        Write me back 

        Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • delightfulchaos shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 6 days, 5 hours ago

    The Lost Sight

    People all around have lost their sight
    In return has made this world loose its light
    Hate and darkness are spread
    while people try to hide it all with meds
    Instead of opening their eyes they become more blind
    which makes the light harder to find
    People are becoming more like animals losing sight of humanity
    Which is destroying the future you see
    We all secretly want the same thing
    to truly be loved & not shown pain
    We forget to be the person we needed when we were younger
    especially when that darkness hit with that Hungers
    People can always be the change in this world & save humanity
    Even if it just starts with you and little Ol me
    Someone must finally open their eyes
    To see past all the masks, disguises, & lies
    Just as easy as hate can spread
    Love & Kindness could be instead
    One match can bring light to the dark
    The dark cannot overpower the spark
    Unless you give that power away
    Nobody can make or break your day
    Working together for the greater good
    Has been somehow misunderstood
    It is time we all open our hearts & quit being sheep
    Show love instead & let the evil sow what it reap

    Delightfully Chaotic

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Joye Lange shared a letter in the Group logo of Current EventsCurrent Events group 6 days, 12 hours ago

    Struggle

    Getting up
    Facing a new day
    Is a struggle

    What will I have
    To look forward to
    Pain, always pain
    It never goes away

    Making the best
    of a bad situation
    Trying to struggle
    Along each day

    Put a smile on
    My face to hide
    The grief inside

    Hoping to give hope
    To someone I meet
    Each and every day

    Joye Lange

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • You Lack Nothing & God is Always With You

    8 years ago today I defended my Master’s Thesis at the University of Kentucky, titled:

    Healthy Reintegration: The Effectiveness of Military Teen Adventure Camp Participation of Adolescent Perceptions of Self-efficacy

    I remember the day vividly, I was a nervous wreck, standing in front of a room full of people with my insecurities—believing that somehow everyone witnessing was somehow smarter or better than me.

    If I could speak to that version of me at 25, I would tell her that you are enough today and you will only continue to get better. You will go on to complete a PhD at a R1 institution (Florida State University) defending one on many Goliath’s in your life (dissertation) during the onset of covid—against all odds. Ignore the disempowerment and doubt including, the words from your thesis advisor, “If you keep writing like this, Florida State will never accept you into their PhD program”. (Academia really has a unique way of shattering any bit of confidence you have).

    I would tell her that being from the south or from a perceived “less than” background won’t hold you back—it is your perceived lack that will fuel your drive to finish whatever you start. It will fuel you to put yourself out there. It will fuel you to leave your comfort zone. It will fuel you to never quit. It will empower your relationship and reliance on God. So run your race boldly and well — you lack nothing and God is always with you (Deut. 31:8)

    #chaseyourdreams

    Dr. Cortnie S. Baity, LMFT

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Dr. Cortnie S. Baity, LMFT shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 weeks ago

    A WORTHWHILE JOURNEY OF ENDURANCE & FAITH: GROWTH

    The maze of life, we wander, we strive,
    Through twists and turns, where paths collide,
    Each step a dance of pain and joy,
    As we chase dreams that hope employ.
    Through valleys deep and mountains high,
    We journey on, beneath the sky,
    With hearts that ache and souls that yearn,
    For the lessons learned at every turn.
    In the darkest of times,
    We stumble, we fall,
    Sometimes we even lose our sight,
    But from the shadows, once more we emerge,
    With newfound strength,
    After every storm, comes a surge.
    For in the depths of despair we find, The resilience of humankind.
    We rise from ashes, refusing to fold,
    A testament to faith and resilience—cheers to the courageous and bold
    For growth is not a straight-lined path,
    It’s up and downs, twists, and turns
    But we find our way, becoming free at last
    So let us cherish the journey we choose,
    For they remind us who we are and what happens if you refuse to lose,
    A testament to our strength and grace
    Yes, we rise and fall, yet rise again and again…
    Knowing that trouble won’t last always and if you don’t give up, you will win.
    So ride life’s wave, in God’s embrace.
    Trust your path—you’ve got what it takes.

    Dr. Cortnie S. Baity, LMFT

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Greetings, your poem beautifully captures the ups and downs of life’s journey, offering encouragement and hope to readers. Your use of vivid imagery and a rhythmic flow convey themes of perseverance and resilience, bravo! Overall, it’s an inspiring ode to the human spirit.

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • The Art of Growth

    The Art of Growth

    Stagnant. Dormant. Idle. Sluggish.
    All feelings of a pace I’ve gotten too familiar with.
    I’m in a courtship with anxiety,
    And an engagement with depression.
    Yet, these are two relationships I don’t want to be a part of.

    Reflect. Ponder. Meditate. Think.
    These daily reminders ping in my head.
    Telling me to give myself a break, take it easy, let it out and let it go.
    But they only stay for the moment, and then I forget to be kind to myself.

    I wonder what being 30 is like for others.
    I wonder what being 30 is like for me.
    Am I behind? Am I lost? Is this okay?

    I reflect on how everyone is moving at their own pace.
    I ponder over how far I’ve come, yet how short of a time I’ve been around.
    I meditate on how there’s no such thing as behind, because this is my version of now.
    I think about how being lost isn’t a bad thing. It’s an opportunity to learn.
    It’s okay. I’ll be okay. And that’s the art of growth.

    A Graham

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Raheli Conde shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 weeks, 1 days ago

    Galaxy Brothers & Sisters

    The stars, my brothers & sisters,
    How much I miss all thee
    To see you, shiny, bright optimists –
    Such a deep positivity to guide.

    So many of you all, those stars –
    The houses, cities, industries, beings
    Dull you now, and so, so few
    of you shine as bright, barely gleaning.
    Now, not as many of you
    Illuminate and shining to inspire
    Amongst the rest of mankind.
    I miss seeing you as I did back there . . .

    I lay there in the vast school valley
    No major lights, here third world style.
    Cast myself away from the US, I fled,
    practically now an exile.
    I came to understand more of the world
    Wanting to see if I can do any good.
    Lying, wishing to be in the space purl,
    There in the dark of the African continent.
    I smile with peace and such ease
    While looking up at those grand stars,
    Milky Way, galaxies, while a scant breeze
    waves across my skirt and the tall grass.

    My Earthly Family, those stars
    mine, yours, our representative.
    This view, this experience,
    I rushed over, not so tentative/
    To learn so much, but the stars
    Illuminated the sky and world
    So much brightness and loveliness,
    and so much did unfurl.
    I’ll never feel like this again.

    Those days over in Tanzania
    will forever last in memory
    That life, those stars, now as unglistened
    In this sky so uncomplimentary

    Sharing now that life is short.
    I’ll enjoy it as best as I did under
    The Tanzania stars and sky.

    Raheli Conde

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Greetings, your description of yearning for the beauty of the stars amidst the routine of life is quite striking. It contrasts the grandeur of the universe with the limitations of human existence, leaving a poignant reminder of life’s fleeting nature. Splendidly written.

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • With me

    I am the girl that can come off a bit clingy
    Often scaring those who cross my path.
    My thoughts may seem a bit stringy
    Coming off to one like a bloodbath.
    I will shoot for the stars
    Providing those I love with my support.
    Depending who looks you can see the scars
    This makes some want to abort.
    Giving my all with folks that let her through
    As they becoming a part of the life.
    There are pieces only few knew
    I will occasionally show it all within a rife.
    No one can tell me who I am
    I do not follow a diagram.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • The Knight

    The knight elevates the princess
    tightening his grasp midair
    while they are lost in the brown waves.
    Shifting the thread of hair behind
    to gain a surpass of what the wave has inside—
    the knight elevates the princess.
    Giddying as the knight’s veins come through
    the heat in the room leaves them breathless:
    while they are lost in the brown waves.
    The beats sync
    taking the space away
    the knight elevates the princess.
    The grin grows uncontrollably
    the palms leaving a trace:
    while they are lost in the brown waves.
    Continuing to go steady
    as they snuggle close.
    The knight elevates the princess
    while they are lost in the brown waves.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Her

    Have I ever told you how proud I am?
    Of each of the battles you have overcome
    She thinks that her life is not up to par.
    She’s a writer now
    While her sport history is no more
    Have I ever told you how proud I am?
    Living with the mind battles
    Due from the moments God throws her way:
    She thinks that her life is not up to par.
    Still waking up
    Pushing past the hardships
    have I ever told you how proud I am?
    Have you seen how far you have grown
    moments you thought would never surpass
    She thinks that her life is not up to par.
    If she only knew how great she’s doing
    Which I think we’re finally within the place
    Have I ever told you how proud I am?
    She thinks that her life is not up to par.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Lexi Mae Edwards shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 weeks, 2 days ago

    The Self Journey

    Following down a path
    that was out of the ordinary.
    Discovering herself threw all the wrath
    Bouncing around such as a fairy.
    The harmfulness inside
    can consume her on the daily
    She is no longer trying to hide
    Realizing she probably was never gaily.
    The spark of who she is becoming
    Is bright within
    Hearing the constant humming
    Without all of the sin.
    This girl is giving it her all
    never worried on if she will fall.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • “The spark of who she is becoming
      Is bright within”

      I love this line. I have felt this line. I can’t wait to see you continue on your path and reveal your purpose! <3 Lauren

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Greetings, your celebration of resilience and authenticity is wonderfully written. It encourages perseverance and self-acceptance, highlighting the strength of embracing one’s true identity. I hope this becomes a reality and a source of encouragement for everyone in their self-discovery journey.

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Who Am I?

    I want to try this again
    The more I learn about who I am becoming
    Making this a part of my routine
    As I continue going day by day
    To figure out the best version of myself
    So let’s begin
    Who am I?
    I carry a big heart
    One that can often be misused from those that surround me.
    I do not put that shield on it.
    I trust with the plan God already has made for me—
    I am just living that piece of it.
    I have goals
    Ambitions
    Dreams
    All which one day I will succeed.
    I am still so young
    There’s a whole life ahead.
    Yes I will get things wrong
    It may not look like I know what I am doing
    That is okay though
    It is just going to build me.
    I trust myself
    I see my beauty within
    Even if it’s not on a day to day.
    I know who I can and want to be
    So for right now I am just loving me.
    I am grateful for the life that I carry
    And who I am becoming.
    Each day this is making me who I am
    And I cannot be more proud of that.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Greetings, your piece is really inspiring and relatable. The celebration of resilience and optimism is encouraging and warming. Beautiful piece.

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Lexi Mae Edwards shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 weeks, 2 days ago

    The little girl

    Looking into the mirror
    I see the smile from her.
    The find feels clearer
    I finally found where you were.
    Noticing the smile
    That follows around.
    Anyone could spot it from a mile
    Finding what startled her from the ground.
    Did I mention the bliss
    From you walking through that door.
    It’s safe you will not be a dismiss
    We are ready to explore.
    The possibilities that are within
    Not that I no wear you thin.

    Lexi Mae

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Greetings, your poem is uplifting and inspiring, inviting readers to share in your newfound sense of clarity and optimism. It’s a beautiful piece.

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    I wake up like I never went to bed.
    Sleep is upon my open eyes,
    yet they are glazed and scarlet red.
    I don’t remember what happened yesterday,
    nor do I have a semblance of what the day holds.
    I schedule my life out to stop the mind decay.
    I sip my coffee until I realize for two hours it’s been cold.
    I glance around myself,
    “When did I put that picture on my wall?”
    “Did I put it together or buy that bookshelf?”
    Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone I could call?
    But for everyone living their lives,
    going to school, work, home, sleep-
    It really wouldn’t make sense to hear my cries.
    I can’t remember how my mind got so deep.
    How I can’t recollect moving into this apartment.
    I know I pay for bills, electric and such,
    I have a garage that has my car now with a dent,
    I mean I remember that much.
    I used to go to college,
    I had a friend, I think.
    But school never taught me a good message.
    I always felt blue and everyone was pink,
    like I had a mask.
    I was so perfect, smart and happy,
    but at home, there was always a panic attack waiting for me,
    a part no one could, nor would ever see.
    Somehow I stopped driving to college.
    I had several jobs and goals,
    yet I couldn’t find my true meaning or message.
    Outside I seemed successful with my methods and morals,
    but it seems there’s a part of my soul left behind,
    somewhere along moving out and now,
    I lost my mind.
    Either that or the matrix has me now under its hold.
    Somedays I feel the grass under my feet,
    and other times
    I can’t even look at myself without wanting to retreat.
    Cause somewhere along the lines,
    I lost me,
    and I don’t think I can get her back.
    Somewhere on the other side of the root and the tree,
    ss the life of that little girl I now lack.
    God, I just want to wake up sometimes
    without shocking myself with my own touch.
    To not wonder If I committed any crimes,
    cause my hands are calloused and rough,
    From something I can’t even remember,
    or can even give a second thought.
    When I go to sleep at night
    It’s with dread and regret,
    that I have no idea what happened in this fight.
    But what can you do as you watch the sun set,
    It’s the matrix.
    Maybe one day,
    someone will come and it will all be,
    fixed.

    Frankie Baker

    Subscribe  or  log in to reply

    • Frankie, you have so much purpose and so many gifts. Just one day at a time, try new things, and pay close attention to what makes you feel good. Keep pushing. Sending you a hug <3 Lauren

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

  • Load More
Share This: