To whom it may concern,

It seems I forgot how to let the
prospect of beauty
in its purest,
rawest
form
fall graciously into
my subconscious mind…
Yes, the place where light liquidates,
Where neurons shoot and transmute
To fill dark holes and dusty spaces

I figured I have no one else to blame
but myself
for when it gets too dark.
It is I who got myself into the habit
of naming my shadows
turned familiars keen on
purring gentle lullabies,
soothing my body into the night.

And I’ll admit
I was Tempted to replicate these
grayish hours
So I lay there that morning after,
alone, just like I’ve always been.
Alone with delusions named
tangible fantasies,
what I’ve conjured for myself
in the light of beautiful but misplaced passion.
But in your absence,
I delegate my time a bit more wisely
and decided to use it for
something different entirely.

Given my quarrels with things
beyond my control,
I’m inclined to relinquish myself
from this pretense of sadness
So yes, I’m here for some unraveling!
And yes, I’ll wrap myself in love-stricken
cosmological acceptance
Struck like Gold once more!
I’ll my skin tough
and viable
Out of necessity,
And I alone will protect myself from
the cold that

solitude
begs,

And though it may be quieter now,
I won’t acknowledge
the paranormal activity
Of my prefrontal cortex-ting
Me messages
From Sad ghosts
Keen on drawing on you
in with their version of
loneliness.

No, I won’t give in
Instead, I’ll open the curtains,
let the light back in.
I’ll count the days till Equinox returns
And I’m blessed again with summer’s infinite rays

And
All that’s left is to wonder is
“Who I can blame when
the darkness finally returns?”

Until next time.

Dear Future Self,

I hope you fall into yourself gracefully.
I hope you find the love that’s meant for you
And finally accept that
what you’ve been you’ve been seeking
This entire time is actually you.

You in all your glory,

Dear Future Self,

I hope you stop taking on the pain of others as your own
Because you thought empathy was the one true thing
That made you human,
That proved that you also deserved compassion.

I hope you learn the difference between
Existentialism and simply letting yourself exist.

Dear Future Self,

In the past, you would tell yourself “no” before you were denied access
You binged on rejection
Then threw up the anxiety
You had the nerve to blame
The ingestion of too much circumstance
When you should have had more compassion on your plate
You simply needed more time to digest your lessons

You tricked yourself into thinking you weren’t ready
When it’s been you
Who was waiting on me to finally see clearly.
Dear Future Self,

How blessed you are to be human
I’m glad you made it.

Thank you for all that you have done.
Thank you for the trip you took out the country that
changed your perspective on the world
Thank you for reminding me what it means to be alive
Thank you for finding the love of your life
By simply looking in a mirror
And recognizing that true love exists
Where your soul smiles the brightest.

Dear Future Self,

The book you wrote is phenomenal.

Remember to thank the friends you now call family
In the Forward.
Remember to hug your loved ones deeply,
And never forget to say “I love you”
When you truly feel it

Thank you for speaking up when needed.

Dear Future Self,

Thank you for falling into yourself gracefully.

With love,