Hey, you, old man.
This is a letter to yourself and from yourself.
You know all those things you’ve done wrong,
Regardless of who’s fault, or who’s right or wrong.
But this is not of that my friend…
Yeah, it’s amazing.You can call yourself friend now, but you are! ♥
I know those things I put myself and others through.
I remember the dreams and aspirations.All the good things I had for you.
Looking back is confusing and God it just makes me cry.
But I’m gonna try to leave You out too.Because this is a letter to myself. To maybe find out why.
But God I can’t, I can’t look back Because it hurts too much…
I can’t go to the beach, I can’t go to school, I can’t go to church, Sitting bereaved, I feel a fool.
But Lord, I can’t do it, I cannot watch.
Cannot go to Toledo. Cannot go to Cleveland cannot go back to jail, God what am I believing?
Cannot run to West Virginia, cannot hospital trend…
All along.I hated myself, yet all the while was a good friend. ☺
I can’t even write.I’m sorry I can’t do this.
All along my life, it was my own mark I missed.
But that’s a good thing because i’m not in hell…
Only I could see my place where ever if I made, could never get bail.
I’m sorry, no can do.
God thank you for saving me from me.

Because God loved me 1st-And I’m not of any less worth
My God is no respecter of persons-And He loves healing my hurting.
I love me because I’m trying-As I’m crying to care…
My Great God has made me beautiful-the person in the mirror!
I may have some good qualities instilled in me,
But the best-is alone time with God-on some humble knees.
I chose to love myself-though seems to me none else can,
So, I put God 1st, then the others, finally at last I stand!
I witness to people-telling them how much God loves them,
For all practical purposes-I’m reminded of love, over and over again!
God must see me special-He died for my soul to live,
Sitting patient through many lectures my earthly father had to give.
I love me because I’m not a robot, that cannot return the love,
It’s a free gift the Master Gave-Super, Sufficient enough!
I’m looking deep, staring into-the bottom of my heart,
And see the reason, steep to love-every brand-new day’s start!
I love me because I can love everyone else,
Even if they did me wrong-there’s no reason to not love myself!
Yes, writing this down brings tears to mine eyes,
So, learning to smile by overcoming frowns-is such a lovely surprise!
God sure does instruct me well-in His Word divine…
I love me by loving my wife-in sincere lowliness of mind.
I love me from emotions and feelings-that have become real,
I love me cause I’m sober, and love the souls-from all you at “The Unsealed”!
I love me because I see my mistakes, and when I make them-my heart breaks,
And because I’m not leading people astray-but point to Jesus who is The Way!
As Yes, I chose always wisely to learn, from all my dumb mistakes.
I love me for my friend-on this paper is how I pray…
This ink from my pen, will never run out-it just bleeds in a good way!
I love me because I love God, and have figured out-He hates me not,
I love me because I’m bought with His blood-that cleanses my sin a lot!
I’m loving myself because I’ve felt, and know the truth from lies-
Especially because this inside love-is finally leaving my past behind!!!
I love me because God has great plans for me…
And so, I let Jesus drive-and sit in the passenger’s seat!
Also, I love what it means to “be human”,
Living and growing, and returning loves sway…
And I am (through this poem)
Making “loving myself” a new practice every day!

Good for burdens to be done!

Thank You-The Unsealed,
Much Love-Timothy
4-4-24

They mean my daily chore-home work.
They mean my daily release-from drugs.
God, I want them so bad-But can’t…
These things mean-my sanity.

Ears ring loud-Alone.
None but Jesus-knows.
God, I tempt You not-but why?
Dids’t Thou not take me-long ago?

Still flying sober-how?
Dost Thou hold my tears-when?
Will they stop, could they ever-Be
Worth anything-to Thee?

I will write a poem-And fly.
I’ll crash down-Goodbye.
Can say words-no meaning heart?
Words kill-I’ve seen,
Through the light of another’s dream.

Was a nightmare-for both.
How can life and death-Be so close?
Walking in the Spirit…Live.
Walking after the flesh…Death.

Let God direct your steps.
Acknowledge Him every chance you get!
He will give beyond belief
Be humble and watch Him uplift.
God, I don’t know what will kill me first…
Mine own poor choices,
Or the source of a heart-attacks worth.

How much more?

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp your feet
Please lie to me, it sounds so sweet
Don’t tell the truth-weep bitter deceit

How fun this is-wouldn’t you agree?
This old heart can take it-for One takes all
One same literally made all!
Nor did He think it bad…

But said-It is good!

It seems Jesus is in my box
I’m alone in the room with it and Him.
Broken hearted-sore troubled am I
He is the mended miracle…

I don’t let Him out to try.

Is this holding the truth in unrighteousness?
That’s not what I want despite all this.

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp away…

Poems could make a heart unbroken.

Tuesday
Sept. 12th
2023

Walking through a weary land
Behold you find the rock
May you come thirsty, but not alone
And fall broken upon this stone

Out pours the Water-giving life to your soul
Free-this Living Water, gives your heart a home!
Tis’ so good to you that you want not to return
Back to weary land-please stay close and learn.

That He was always there for you-in your lonely times
He caught your every painful fall-and kept you alive!
Please give God the glory-the Great Savior and King
He is the great Healer-and the answer to your dreams!

Please let Him change you, for you to die not
So faithful He always is-loving you a lot!
He will not point out-sins daring glare
But He covers with His blood-eternal life He shares!

He will always pardon-by His Grand Master design
Dear precious child-He is with you all the time!
He hurts so much at heart-by your troubled pain
He knows all your going through-As for you He came.

Yes-He died a horrible death-just so you’d be free
And He lives beyond a guess-please this fact believe
Please with open heart-accept His perfect love…
He will lift you so much higher-than can any given drug!

-Brought to you by the Love of Christ-

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.

I had thought that I had been through fire, but last year showed me different. On February 2nd of 2023, I received a phone call as I was on my way to the doctor to prepare for back surgery. My son’s boss called to inform me that he had been in an accident and was unresponsive. I canceled my appointment and rushes a little over an hour to where they took him. Little did I know that I was driving up on the accident as it was being cleaned up. I drove by his truck being towed off with nothing left of his truck. The semi that hit him had damage but not as much, and they survived. Falling apart driving to the hospital, and when I arrived the doctor sat us down in the family room to tell us how bad it was. He had six head fractures to his face and skull. He had broken rib that punctured his lung, broken arm that the bone came through the skin and unresponsive until the day he died. I spent 10 days by his side praying and crying, spending it mostly alone because my family had to work and watch my other kids. I refused to leave him. On the 9th, we were informed that he was brain dead and they couldn’t do anything else. They were sorry but we had to talk about letting him go. On the 10th, I came home long enough before anyone else told my kids, that I had to let their brother go the next day. I had to chase them down the highway and my oldest daughter had just found out she was pregnant. When I got back to the house, I fell to the ground and balled my eyes out. My kids had to pick me up and take me inside. When I calmed down and they calmed down, I returned to the hospital to spend one more night before taking him off the machine. On the 11th, at 10:15am they unplugged him, there was no heartbeat, no breath taken, nothing but silence and crying. No pain will ever beat the pain that I felt in those ten days. I struggle everyday fighting depression missing him. It is so hard to bare. Everyday, I have questions that no one can answer about the accident. I just pray that one day maybe the guy who received his heart, will one day let me hear it. I pray for anyone who has to deal with this pain. He was able to help 6 people with his organs that weren’t damaged. I am so proud of him and he is my hero. I miss him so much.

My screen is a scene of something obscene
It’s so serene I hear Myself scream I deemed it extreme
Im not to keen to dream it seems, I mean…..

My heart is broke I’m begining to sulk
My tears are for fears that you might not be back do you have to go away for this long? I don’t think Im strong for lack of a better word, maybe I’m being absurd
First time I saw you I knew you were the one.
Starring in to each others eyes our lips touched and that was it, I was hit with cupid’s arrow.
Now years later a lie was created
doubted thoughts loom and you assume.
My heart drops what did I do I never knew you felt like this I must’ve missed.
I want to give you a kiss and be in bliss again with you, this what I really want to do
I miss you

This is but a thought the truth of what our nation is coming to
Fiddle De De fiddle de dumb biden’s got his thumb up his bum, he gave Ukraine another lump sum.
Migrants galore, Chicago ignore. They say the American dream is a lore. It rocks me to my bitter core.
The opponent stays quiet, so there won’t be a riot.
My words are honest, but I can’t promise they won’t cause strife. Think of your life.
I’m not political, I’m not semitic
but I said it…
Eat the rich, but not the poor
too many citizens lying on the floor
My lord…
They say COVID is coming back and it’s going to attack. Relax it’s just tact
The election is coming The press is running and they are cunning.
My thoughts are clear a mere sense of clarity
A rarity indeed I’m not trying to mislead It’s just a seed.

Hello in there, is your head working yet? Here just take another pill.
For breakfast every morning I have a colorful array of meds.
Just so I can fit in, I hate it I really do. don’t worry here’s another pill to cheer you up, one to keep u from your nightmarish dreams. One to stay awake, one for pain, another to be in a. Good mood, one to make you stay in a good mood. but it might take a few meds to find the right one
My mind feels perfectly fine.
Another appointment? Let’s change it up. A few MG’s up a few down.
Are you ready for another round
Ya, I’m down.
I hear a sound. Let’s wing it this timeIt’ll be fine, You’ll feel so much better. You might even get a little thinner.
Who knows, the sky’s the limit! That’s the ticket, keep on taking them they’ll keep on making em.
Addicting those that are weak, and seem to only seek The ones they can critique….

Surviving addiction it’s an affliction calling out for an intervention
Spend my time wondering why it took a hold of me. Eyes are wide Breath is high
Time is a wasting well I’m chasing my dragon
Tag you’re it! It’s my turn already?
I can’t even, I’m not steady
On your mark get set go, GI Joe the more you know.
My name is Danielle and I can’t even tell
I’m ready to give up I’ve had enough.

Am I really entering the world of addicy oh the audacity
am I really that into it
I am really that into it
You deserved this
You treversed this
Why cant I leave this room
It’s doom and gloom
Im starting to tune this out
Searching, nay saying
I’m just trying to say
When the fuck did I get here
This must be a joke,
and then I awoke

Woke up in a daze not feeling like I wanted to go to work. I attempted to call out. Talked to my boss it was a definite NO, I need you come in… Uhg so I did. feeling bad about leaving my boss hangin I strolled in to work every thing was fine just as it should be. I set up and took my first client.second, third and so on and so forth, I noticed a boy and his mother walk in and sit down. The mother was called by the stylist the sat up front probably about 11 or 12 I would say… All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see him grabbing his throat and trying to cough. Without even a thought or a memory of how I got from.here to there it was like an outer body experience watching from above myself in motion attending and defending this little boys will to live. It was crazy, each thrust I felt his body get tighter it seemed like forever I was giving the heimlich maneuver. I’ll tell ya… it wasn’t “I hope” this thing. Comes out it was “going to” come out…. And it did the boy with a blue hue had a natural color to him again.
thank you to who ever what ever that was that came over me the boy started to cough just as the EMTs arrived I stepped a way. They were all clapping, my boss was crying and shaking as was I. My boss pulled me out back to talk she was like how, why if you took the day off…. I just glad you were here today.
The mother of the boy however was beyond her self gave me a hug asked how could she ever repay me for saving the boy I said to her… Him being
alive and breathing is payment enough.
This is my memorable moment….

Chasing, pacing, racing
Only in my dreams
I want so bad to see them come true
But I haven’t come to terms with seeing it thru my desires and wants take second stage
To the battle that is everyday
Someday I hope I can make them happen
Glory day, I hope and pray for my time to come
Though It lasts just a second
And then it ends…
it’s already written

Steady as I go
Inspiration pouring out my soul
Mind and body collide
Heart and soul coincide
Fact and fiction divide
Making you feel alive
Sometimes I get real
I kneel and pray to a god not yet saved
Steal and pay for the next day
You’ll find a way
Just stay, don’t run
It could way a ton
My thoughts exactly
Don’t beg just ask me
I’ll stay till the light burns out
Be quiet and listen to your first decision
Be quiet and run for the day is done
Another quest tomorrow will avenge sorrow