I am the girl that can come off a bit clingy
Often scaring those who cross my path.
My thoughts may seem a bit stringy
Coming off to one like a bloodbath.
I will shoot for the stars
Providing those I love with my support.
Depending who looks you can see the scars
This makes some want to abort.
Giving my all with folks that let her through
As they becoming a part of the life.
There are pieces only few knew
I will occasionally show it all within a rife.
No one can tell me who I am
I do not follow a diagram.

The knight elevates the princess
tightening his grasp midair
while they are lost in the brown waves.
Shifting the thread of hair behind
to gain a surpass of what the wave has inside—
the knight elevates the princess.
Giddying as the knight’s veins come through
the heat in the room leaves them breathless:
while they are lost in the brown waves.
The beats sync
taking the space away
the knight elevates the princess.
The grin grows uncontrollably
the palms leaving a trace:
while they are lost in the brown waves.
Continuing to go steady
as they snuggle close.
The knight elevates the princess
while they are lost in the brown waves.

Have I ever told you how proud I am?
Of each of the battles you have overcome
She thinks that her life is not up to par.
She’s a writer now
While her sport history is no more
Have I ever told you how proud I am?
Living with the mind battles
Due from the moments God throws her way:
She thinks that her life is not up to par.
Still waking up
Pushing past the hardships
have I ever told you how proud I am?
Have you seen how far you have grown
moments you thought would never surpass
She thinks that her life is not up to par.
If she only knew how great she’s doing
Which I think we’re finally within the place
Have I ever told you how proud I am?
She thinks that her life is not up to par.

The Matrix

I wake up like I never went to bed.
Sleep is upon my open eyes,
yet they are glazed and scarlet red.
I don’t remember what happened yesterday,
nor do I have a semblance of what the day holds.
I schedule my life out to stop the mind decay.
I sip my coffee until I realize for two hours it’s been cold.
I glance around myself,
“When did I put that picture on my wall?”
“Did I put it together or buy that bookshelf?”
Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone I could call?
But for everyone living their lives,
going to school, work, home, sleep-
It really wouldn’t make sense to hear my cries.
I can’t remember how my mind got so deep.
How I can’t recollect moving into this apartment.
I know I pay for bills, electric and such,
I have a garage that has my car now with a dent,
I mean I remember that much.
I used to go to college,
I had a friend, I think.
But school never taught me a good message.
I always felt blue and everyone was pink,
like I had a mask.
I was so perfect, smart and happy,
but at home, there was always a panic attack waiting for me,
a part no one could, nor would ever see.
Somehow I stopped driving to college.
I had several jobs and goals,
yet I couldn’t find my true meaning or message.
Outside I seemed successful with my methods and morals,
but it seems there’s a part of my soul left behind,
somewhere along moving out and now,
I lost my mind.
Either that or the matrix has me now under its hold.
Somedays I feel the grass under my feet,
and other times
I can’t even look at myself without wanting to retreat.
Cause somewhere along the lines,
I lost me,
and I don’t think I can get her back.
Somewhere on the other side of the root and the tree,
ss the life of that little girl I now lack.
God, I just want to wake up sometimes
without shocking myself with my own touch.
To not wonder If I committed any crimes,
cause my hands are calloused and rough,
From something I can’t even remember,
or can even give a second thought.
When I go to sleep at night
It’s with dread and regret,
that I have no idea what happened in this fight.
But what can you do as you watch the sun set,
It’s the matrix.
Maybe one day,
someone will come and it will all be,
fixed.

Hi readers my name is c o r t n e y v a l l e. I’m 33 years old I was born and raised in the country in the state of Michigan. No I don’t remember most of my childhood when I got older I was always a problem child to my family everybody else love me but my family couldn’t stand me. When I hit the stage of being able to date and go out with people I always ended up with the wrong ones. Then I found out as I got older that my family was paying for me to be with these wrong people and to get into these situations so that I would never succeed so that I wouldn’t see my riches that I was entitled to that they robbed me from. My second marriage that I had just failed and there was a lot going on behind the scenes and I realized that they paid the man to marry me he was supposed to kill me and then he fell in love with me. He was a warlock and he was also the head of a Freemasonry group in Michigan.on top of that he had four relationships going on that I did not know what the time when I married him he was already with a woman that had kids in Chicago and then he had a man behind the scenes and another man and so basically my whole marriage was just a lie but my parents paid for that to happen so that I could feel worthless but it didn’t work. I was also supposed to be dead because they filed a false life insurance policy on me and my family was involved with him and that as well. There’s also a fox car insurance policy that was involved and there’s also money taken from somebody else that was in hundreds of thousands of dollars that I had nothing to do with but they signed my name on it and so that it’s being investigated as we speak. What I wanted to share was what people could be aware of when this happens you’re not crazy if your life’s going in a cycle and you can’t figure out why you’ve been married like three or four times you don’t need mental health medication chances are that you’ve been being watched and stocked for a long period of time.when you keep seeing the same cars drive by you over and over again it’s not just a coincidence it’s people that are watching you. When you’re on social media and you get all these fake accounts like hey you know I want to give you a free reading or hey you know I would like to date you and it’s these fancy people they’re not real they’re false accounts trying to set you up for failure. I made the mistake of feeling bad for a guy that needed money for his kids online and come to find out it ended up being my mom and my mom was involved with that and then that’s what she used to take my kids away saying that I was making unhealthy choices so she knew what she was doing the whole time. Be very careful with the people that are closest to you and be very careful with how much information you give them because they like to ruin relationships when you finally do get that bus relationship they want to know what you’re doing when you’re doing who’s doing what because they want Total control they’re narcissist personalities and they’re very toxic.I haven’t figured it out yet but I do think that my mom might about my childhood as well who my parents were or something happened to death or something and they tried to cover it up by making me do meditation and shoving pills in my throat. No going from gamestop to the smear campaigns basically I would try to get it job and it didn’t matter if the job was at McDonald’s or at the hospital or where it was I would only last one or two months and then I would be fired and then I will feel horrible about myself but come to find out looking at what I looked at then now she smear campaign this whole town and talked horrible about me and said horrible things to people so that I could not obtain a job because she didn’t want me to succeed because she didn’t want me to have what was entitled to me success and wealth. So like I said I had a hard time finding jobs when I did find jobs didn’t work and I ran my own business and for the first three years it was fine and I couldn’t figure out why but now that I think about it it was about 8 years ago she had something to do with that too she probably is me or campaign the people that I was cleaning for said something bad about the business somebody’s actually done something bad on my business name and I don’t know who don’t care God’s going to deal with that but yeah I was notified that somebody had tried to use my cleaning company and just use it to rip other people off online with PayPal or something. She has a demon and energy in her that I cannot handle that it makes it very hard for me to stay here which is why I’m getting my own place tomorrow but I wanted to be with my kids everyday and so I was thankful for that but at the same time they just talk down on you they talk horrible about you and I don’t say anything cuz I learned that when you’re in this situations sometimes silence is golden.so after I couldn’t obtain a job and all the smear campaigns happened and all this happened and then the online person that she knew was doing what he did and took the money was set up then she took my kids away and I haven’t been able to obtain custody of my children since there was no reason for the judge to take them other than the fact that she said CPS said that there was no reason for them to take them but yet here she is with the kids. And she says things and does things around my kids for them to hate me and yes I did leave for 2 years but I left because of the toxicity my children will understand that but she had no business doing what she did nor did Hillsdale county courthouse and the attorneys and also the people that filed the false documents on the house and the property and everything else that they’ve done to me over the years.so basically ever since 4 years ago when she took the house and then took the money and took the kids and all that happened I haven’t been able to obtain housing because it was during covid and housing was really scarce now apartments are opening up but I really want a house and I know God’s going to provide for me but this is a struggle that I’ve been going through you’re not alone it’s called gang stalking and smear campaign so most of the time if you’re not using drugs and alcohol and you’re trying to obtain a job and you just can’t so you’re not alone if you’ve been trying to obtain a job and you just can’t keep the job or and you’re not using drugs and alcohol or if things are happening that shouldn’t be happening it’s because you somebody has been gang stalking and smear campaigning you since you’ve been born. And I’m kind of pissed because today she said at the bank that her husband needs a new truck and everything and I know exactly where that money came from it was stolen money that was never there and hit part of their inheritance but it makes me mad because she’s got all this stuff and then she wants to talk crap about me knowing we’ll what she did. So so here I am about to get an apartment that she found that again it was picked out and it’s orchestrated so everybody knows where it’s going to be now because she has a lot of f****** mouth and doesn’t shut up because that’s what she does and I’m sure that the job that I get if I get the job that I want it won’t be very long because it’ll be ruined too but you know here’s the thing God said that he’s tired of this now that I know what’s happening and I see what’s happening I’ve taken authority over that and I’m not giving her my energy anymore. She literally left me for Dead and that’s sad that I’m mother whatever do that and then nobody thought that I would ever catch on to this American pain and they just thought that I would give up and then I wouldn’t be dead and or I would be this homeless worthless person and they could just keep running all over me and taking advantage of me no I’m sorry money is the root of all evil and you all are going to pay for every single thing that you’ve taken from me whether it’s been little or big I don’t care I am entitled to certain things and so that’s why I’m at life right now I’m taking back what was mine and should have not been taken. So keep following me on here cuz I’m going to keep updating you guys on what happens in my life and what God’s doing for me. Thank you for listening love you all.

Once again//I lay awake,
Light passes through dark stained glass skin,
A mirror, a chisel, a key,
The door behind swings open,
And why should I not have that which I desire?
I trace her steps.
//
My amethyst heart pounds violently as I maneuver through corridors of crystal,
Glassy tears break into marble pieces/my feet don’t bleed from shards,
I stare down at the marble Staircase in the Glass Castle,
Statuesque like meter in the frame,
And it was beautiful.
//
Never more/I fall asleep
The ugly lustre of my body devours the room,
A reflection, a thought, an emotion,
I close the door behind by me,
I know not what I desire when my body desires my mind,
I return to the room.

At my worst, it’s felt like I’ve been swimming through my molasses. The storm has passed, yet fog remained. Echoes blurred the vision of an aimless vagabond.

I cannot see; still, I love my eyes

My veins are celluloid,
My skin is made of wood,
I kept along the lighting fires,
Trying to get rid of myself.
Wake a little skin for the shredder,
Fill the basket with my pieces,
If I walk in the wind,
I’ll just be carried away,
Take me to the stars so I may be light,
I know not what you want of me in this life,
Flax off in pieces; I’ll be paper today/
& I just need a little water to grow up
& I just need a little sunshine to grow up

To the Beauties reading this note,

Following your dreams… Now this was always some quite the controversy in my house growing up. One parent stating you need to dream big the world is your oyster–the other saying you do not want to dream too big otherwise you will get left behind. Now I am writing to you all to say live for you. That’s what I am in the midst of doing. I started with the bare thinking I could not do much more than being a student and going to school; however, in my time away I learned I should have always listened to what the first parent told me. Keeping my identity low as I do not want to cause any fusses in the midst of the beginning: I have so many dreams that I can not wait for all of them to see.
Do not be afraid to express who you are!
Sometimes it takes going away to see the light at the end of it all.
If you feel afraid: know I am in your corner.
I love each and everyone of you.
May you all walk through this world with the blessings you each deserve.

GRIEF
By. Kristina Gregson
Grief is a hard feeling to explain.
One does not truly know what to expect, until they are actually going through the pain.
The pain in the pit of your inner being.
The ache in your heart, feels like it could stop beating.
Your whole body aches with pain, leaving one feeling so drained.
Right down to the blood that flows through your veins.
A hurt, an ache, that can only be described as deep deep sorrow.
One that you know you will still have when you wake tomorrow.
The feeling of loss, the wish I would haves,
The wish I could haves, the wish I should haves,
That feeling of so much wasted time, that could have been spent with better rhythm and rhyme.
More smilies, more hugs, more laughter, more love.
More calls, more talks, maybe even a walk,
More dinners together, more special times.
That is what you wish when your loved one has ran out of time.

Have you ever tried surfing before? Or let’s just be honest, attempted to surf before?

Whether or not you’ve actually squeezed into a skin-tight wetsuit and waxed up your surfboard, if you’re an entrepreneur, then you’re surfing every day!

The dream of catching that perfect wave is what drives us to do better, work harder, and get up earlier. We’d rather fight for every inch than be given a mile.

I embarked on the journey of entrepreneurship 10 years after becoming completely blind. At 17 years old, I unexpectedly lost my eyesight. By 27, I didn’t feel much like being put in a mold of what a “blind person” should do. No, I said screw that… I’m launching my very own travel agency!

Better Days Travel was my pride and joy, my perfect wave for 7 years! Now, that perfect wave took work, a ridiculous amount of work indeed, but I loved every minute of it! Well, sort of.

Like a surfer just beginning to paddle out into the waves, my journey as a travel agent was one wave after another, constantly crashing, pushing me back towards shore. Just as soon as I’d come up for air out of the thick whitewater caused by the crashing wave, another one would hit.

Yeah, eventually I’d make it out to the break, catch a sweet wave, but soon that wave would crash, and I’d be right back fighting to catch another.

But I realized something vitally important about choosing to be an entrepreneur…

You don’t choose this path because you’re looking for a shortcut. You didn’t choose this path because you had no other option. Hell no! You chose this because this is part of living! It’s not about a paycheck on Friday; it’s about a company built, a brand established, a customer made happy, and the satisfaction at the end of the day that you get to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow!

I may no longer be a travel agent, but I sure still am an entrepreneur, surfing every single day!

In a town where promises are plenty and the government hands out aid,
A question echoes softly, under the shade.
“Why try hard, why aim high, when help is just a call away?
Why bother with the struggle, if you’re okay day by day?”

The government says, “We’ll help you, keep you safe and fed,
You won’t need to worry, we’ve got your back,” they said.
But this kindness has a shadow, a kind of hidden chain,
It keeps you in your place, with not much to gain.

“Why go for the mountain,” some wonder, “when the valley’s just fine?
Why face the storm, when you can just recline?”
Because in that easy comfort, there’s a trap so sly,
It tells you, “Don’t bother,” and time just passes by.

But some folks aren’t buying, they want to chase their own dream,
Not just live on handouts, or so it would seem.
They talk about doing things, making their own way,
Not just taking what’s given, but having their say.

They gather in the streets, their voices loud and brave,
“We want to earn our keep, not just quietly behave.”
For freedom and the chance to chase what they deem sweet,
To work hard for their wins, and not just take a seat.

So why aim for something bigger, why try to break free?
It’s about making your own path, as far as I can see.
Not just going with the flow, but steering your own boat,
And in that hard-earned journey, you’ll have your own note.

So let’s not be fooled by an easy ride, bought and sold,
But aim for the horizon, with courage bold.
The road might be rougher, and the climb can be steep,
But in that effort, you’ll find a joy so deep.

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.