Dear Leyah,

I write this letter to you in a brief moment of clarity. I’m sleeping beside the love of my life with the golden rays of the sunset complimenting the blue tones in our bedroom in the house we worked so hard to have. This is bliss. I want this feeling forever.

I want to not worry so much about you and what you’re going to do. I want to have confidence and assurance that you’ll be alright. I get so concerned in who you are that I neglect who I am. I work tirelessly to ensure that you will have a good life financially and physically. But I have only recently began desiring peace for you more than anything.

Forget all of the career aspirations, the “perfect” family, the body, and the looks I want for you. I would give all of that away if I had a way to make you happy forever. I want you to wake up with gratitude and not fear the day to come. I want you to enjoy the passing moments of happiness without feeling guilty. I want you to have confidence and assurance in every decision you make. I want you to trust yourself. I don’t want you to speak to yourself so unkindly. I want you to give yourself that same love and gentleness you give effortlessly to everyone else. I want you to trust the LORD more. I want you to feel like you’re enough.

I have faith that you will be so kind and wonderful to everyone you meet. I know that you’ll still wrestle with the demons of the past but I’ll fight them off as hard as I can before they get to you. I want you to know how much you deserve happiness and pure joy. I want you to feel safe knowing that the life you’ve been given is a blessing and that you don’t have to suffer to earn it.

Nothing matters to me more than that. Knowing that my work now will guarantee a great existence for you. But my work will be in vain if you still feel empty most days or if you torture yourself with guilt and stress. The biggest bully you have right now is the one you face in the mirror. The greatest limitation in your life would be gone if I could just love you more.

I’m learning how to love you every day. By the time you read this, I hope my efforts have paid off. But even if they don’t, I need you to know this; You are more worthy than you’ll probably ever be aware of. You should have joy, leisure, and fun. You deserve ease and comfort. You deserve to be happy. I don’t say it enough, but I love you. I will start saying it more to you. Actually, no. I will start showing you. Every day of my life, I will find a way to remind you that I love you and that I care. I will start by prioritizing your peace. This is the least that I can do. So until we meet again, hold tight and know that I’m trying my best for the both of us.

Sincerely,
Leyah 2023