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  • Ashley M Dowd shared a letter in the Group logo of ParentingParenting group 11 months ago

    A Mother's Broken Heart in Manuscript

    Never in a million years would I have ever thought it would be YOU.
    To bring my heart so much pain like throwing salt on an open wound
    You were my why and one of the most special gifts from God that I truly admired.
    Wanting the best life for you gave me reason to work harder.
    I wanted to be the mother to you that I always longed for and
    what was once a blessing now seems like a curse
    Oh, how I never thought the tables would turn.
    Though I will always love you my heart resembles a broken glass and
    Though pain and disappointment has cut me so deep
    I just cover it up with a mask.
    How could you say you love me yet cause me so much pain
    I’m constantly worried and praying for you.
    while you’re out without a care in the world dancing in the rain
    When you sit back and reflect on your life
    All of your happiest moments were due to MY sacrifice.
    Now I’m lucky if you would even consider my advice
    You have transformed from my baby, my first love
    To a person that’s intentionally toxic in my life and
    As I try to figure out what caused this change I have yet to figure out why
    But as much as you have hurt me
    I cant find it in my heart not to love you
    Just know my objective was always to the best mom I could ever be to you
    But with the results I see I count it as a mission failed
    But I know God can change anything.
    So in the meantime, I’m waiting for him to prevail.

    Ashley Dowd

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    • This is so beautiful at the same time so sad. I can feel the love and pain through this message so deeply, because I have a daughter to who I had wished growing up wouldn’t do the same to me, as we were so close and only had each other; and Thank God she didn’t. We had our ups and downs, but most was up and still is today. But I now have a…read more

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      • Aww thanks for your feedback I wrote this poem when my oldest daughter was experiencing a teenage crisis she was 16 and in love for the first time while acting out and being defiant but I can proudly say she has turned over a new leaf and our close knit relationship has resumed she has two kids now by her first love from back then but all and all…read more

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    • Motherhood is so hard. I have a daughter myself she’s still so little but that doesn’t keep me from thinking that I’m not doing enough. I don’t want her and I to have the same relationship as I did with my mother but the thought of that happening still haunts me. God will prevail he always does. Gods speed. <3

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      • He definitely will, that you can believe. Don’t think that you will make the same mistake your mother may have made that would interfere in you and your daughters relationship. You are your own person and you don’t have to follow in her footsteps. Motherhood is and will always be hard, but all we have to do and it may sound easy, but it’s not, and…read more

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    • This made me cry and I can truly relate to struggling with a teenage child, feeling like a failure, and waiting for Gods promises to turn things around. Thank you for speaking the truths about parenting. I think it is so important to know that we are not alone. Everyone always tells me it wont always be this way. In my heart I know this is true,…read more

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    • Hello Ashley,
      I am sure your child will come around and one day bring you the happiness you deserve.

      Shelley

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  • Plan of Action

    I want to see the world as an equal opportunity place and
    Not as a place where you get a Past Go just because of your race.
    May your NetWorth not determine your importance in this world.
    But your character and actions reveal your real contribution to this world.
    Can we not sit in the judgment seat just because a person doesn’t meet our expectation.
    Can we practice showing people grace in the midst of their afflictions,
    Can people stop idolizing these picture-perfect lives that we all know is fiction. Can change include taking drugs and guns off the street and can counseling be free to nurture those with traumatic realities.
    Can we build our young women to show them that they are uniquely and wonderfully made, and their virginity is more sacred than a cash trade.
    Can real men stand up and be a positive example to the young men.
    Can we honor marriages and not settle as a Special Friend.
    Can we live righteous and not in sin.
    Can we love our neighbors as our kin.
    Can positive change take place so we can look forward to a better tomorrow. Can people not be materialistic but make efforts to give a helping hand and pay it forward to the next person who is trying to do the best they can.
    We can conquer the world if we believe and have faith in change.
    Let’s make a plan of action that will produce a contagious positive change that will spread from State to State and make this world a better place.
    No more division and injustice and rigged up politics it’s time to be united and stand as one and allow CHANGE to make a positive shift.

    Ashley Dowd

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    • Ashley, I love this line, “May your NetWorth not determine your importance in this world.
      But your character and actions reveal your real contribution to this world.” I agree with you that we should focus more on character and less on wealth. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being a part of The Unsealed. Keep being the change you want to…read more

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  • Ashley M Dowd shared a letter in the Group logo of ParentingParenting group 11 months ago

    Labor & Delivery

    Parenting reveals a love in you that you never knew exist. Thats the real definition of love at first sight sealed with a gentle kiss. You have this new human that soley belongs to you now you can finally put a face to them kickball kicks you felt in your womb. Everything changes in a instant and you are officially titled a mom, and the weight that comes with this title automatically mentally mentions that you are STRONG. But may I full warn you that you have a long road ahead and there are many things you will experience especially when you are not prepared. Its levels to this parenting process that you will surely go through, but every child is different so best wishes to you. No matter what you must keep the faith and don’t give up because abandonment is not a option no matter how many nerves they grow up and pluck. Its attending games, recitals and graduations and planning birthdays and sleepovers that make the life of parenting feel so rewarding. Not to mention if you are a respected example as a parent they may inquire for your advice and opinion and even share the issues of their heart and their deepest dark secrets. Parenting is trial and error but it’s a mandatory assignment to LOVE. Remember love is a action word and a valid license to serve. Parenting produces memories and is also designed to introduce good habits and sometimes the pointers that you may get from books and pamphlets don’t always make you a great parent. Its dedication mixed with prayer and bullet proof patience and a community of support that’s willing to listen in a conversation and not sit in the judgment seat like there mirrors are windex clean but remind you that you are not alone because we stand as a team. So parenting is a community full of experiences and advice so welcome aboard and buckle up for the ride.

    Ashley Dowd

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    • Aww this is so sweet. I am not a parents but I do agree with you that while so much is trial and error, the one thing all children need – without question – is love. That’s what all people need! Love heals and empowers. Love is always home. You sound like a wonderful and thoughtful mother. <3 Lauren

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      • Thanks Lauren I want my readers to know that parenting is beautiful and rewarding experience but it’s definitely not easy but it’s a reality that all parents will face and have their own experiences. So, make the best of it and don’t give up.

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    • I’m a mother of 3 under the age of 3 and this speaks volumes. Parenting is the toughest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced. From long nights of a toddler that just won’t sleep to a newborn who’s always hungry. Being a parent is mentally and physically exhausting but it’s all worth it when you sit back and reflect on all of their ach…read more

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    • Love your story, and you’re right, buckle up for the ride, and a ride it will be, but in the long run, a ride well worth it. I wrote a poem once called, “I loved you from the moment I saw you”, and that’s exactly how it is and all the moments and times you don’t think you will handle it, you find a way. You really can’t help yourself, you’re…read more

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  • Ashley M Dowd shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 11 months ago

    Window Seat

    As I sat there at the window seal quietly daydreaming away
    Imagining that the tree I was staring at was aware of all my pain.
    Pain disappointment, loneliness and unappreciated was a few of many emotions that I currently felt
    Feeling a teardrop trickling down my cheek was I guess my cry for help
    Though the environment was dark I often wonder was it my own actions that put out the light
    Even though I felt like the victim was it actually me starting the fights
    This assumption was mind boggling I just couldn’t get it right
    Am I turning into the women that I watched as a child that I never wanted to be like
    While I pray and ask God for wisdom
    I know its on the way, But it seems like forever how long will it take
    Emotionally my engine light is on and my mechanic is off duty
    Seem like I cant get it together now I’m questioning my maturity

    Ashley Dowd

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    • Ashley! This is so good! I think this poem is so real, authentic and insightful. I can feel you working through your pain and trauma in real time, and you are getting stronger and more empowered just by writing this. You are so strong. You are so brilliant. Keep writing and keep heading toward the light. <3 Lauren

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    • Wow. I resonate with this so much. I too feared becoming like the woman I watched growing up and occasionally I felt like I already had turned into her. You are strong and wide already. Acknowledging these emotions is truly the first step to moving forward in an emotionally intelligent life. God will answer your prayers and I guarantee that he’s a…read more

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    • I feel you, I truly feel you, and I want to say, “Never Give Up”. At times you feel lonly, alone, frustrated because you feel as if nothing’s going right with you, or you question why what’s happening is happening? Why can’t you do or get better? Where’s your happiness? I’ve been there, and the answer to all of this is to, continue praying,…read more

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    • This is real and I understand you. Basically everything that’s in this poem happened to me. Everything you thought in this poem is what I thought because I blamed myself and was always seeking the help that would never come to me. Well that’s what I thought Until I met her. My special someone who pulled me from that dark environment.

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  • Ashley M Dowd shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 11 months ago

    Feelings with no name

    What’s the name of that feeling.
    When your heart echoes duplicating a mere image of a windowless room of flat paint
    What’s the name of that feeling.
    When your happily ever after converts into lonely nights and forfeited fights
    Finding yourself pillow talking with your shadow on how this can’t be life.
    What’s the name of that feeling.
    When your ego has drowned, and the lifeguard is off duty.
    Gasping for air while waiting for the waves to subdue you.
    What’s the name of the that feeling.
    When the stars no longer twinkle, and the birds no longer fly, and the clouds look weary providing an abstract flavor to the sky.

    Ashley Dowd

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    • That feeling is JUST a feeling. And feelings are fleeting. So keep fighting for your happiness and know your worth. And your feelings will begin to feel just how you want them too. Stay strong. Find your happiness. <3 Lauren

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    • Hopelessness. Such an overwhelming feeling of being so empty. Yet filled with the loud sound of silence. You will find your happiness again. You will find that spark that’ll turn into a blazing fire. Be patient and kind to yourself. Don’t give up.

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    • To me the name of that feeling is “I don’t know”, what’s the name of that feeling, and you’re entitled to those feelings. It will be a name that you personally will have to come up with. It can be loneliness, it can be sadness, it can be depressions, it can be a feeling of frustration, because you don’t really know, but it’s definitely a feeling.…read more

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    • To me that feeling is helplessness. And just like you said “Gasping for air while waiting for the waves to subdue you” to me is like when you’re in a powerless situation and all you can you is wait for it all to come crashing down just like the wave in your line. It’s like if Nasa came out and told the world that the moon is going to collide with…read more

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  • Ashley's Lullaby

    Hush teenage Ashley please don’t cry if only you knew what your future looked like. I understand you feel lonely and unloved too but trust and believe that God has big plans for you. The emotional trials and tribulations that has constantly let you down is a required prerequisite to prove you are worthy for the crown. Sleepless nights and uncontrolled tears were the evidence of your frustration when no one was near. Later you will find out you were never alone, and God heard your secret prayers when you thought no one was home. To whom much is given certainly much is required so accept your circumstances as a badge of honor. The pain that you endure is meant to push you to your purpose and the anointing that’s on your life is strong enough to make hell nervous. So, in spite of the opposition that you have to face the blessings that lies ahead is your game winning check mate. So trust the process and no longer ask WHY YOU but ask WHO ARE YOU that your childhood had to be misty blue.

    Ashley Dowd

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    • Ashley, I truly believe the difficult things we go through in the moment can feel overwhelming, but in the end that leads us to who we are meant to be and what we are meant to do. You are so strong and resilient. Never change. I admire you. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our Unsealed family. <3 Lauren

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