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Kendra Bendewald shared a letter in the
Mental Health group 1 months, 2 weeks ago
Bi-Polar
Outside my body
Looking in
It’s time to alert
My last of kinI’m not myself
Think I’ve gone crazy
The last few days
Have been quite hazyWhat am I thinking?
Have I gone nuts?
I’m acting insane
And I’m dressed like a slutMy middle finger
In the air
I’m drunk by noon
And i’ve cut my hairCouldn’t give a fuck less
If I get in trouble
Speed limit’s 30,
I’m doing doubleBlaring music
Hysterically screaming
Everything’s foggy
I must be dreaming
Met up with some new friends
Guess it’s high time to go ghost
On the people around me
That care about me the mostThey’ll know exactly
What this all means
They’ll try and stop it
And I’ll cause a sceneMy mom will exclaim
“Oh, fuck, she’s gone manic!”
And when you look at her face
You can see she’s started to panicBut what everyone here
Is failing to realize
Is that a manic episode
Is like winning the grand prizeI’m having a great time
I just quit my job
I’ve pounded a fifth
And i’m making kabobsI don’t wanna come down
I don’t wanna stop it
Won’t take medication
So you might as well drop itSo I’m watching my alter
Destroy all that I’ve built
She won’t even slow down
Doesn’t understand guiltGive it a week
And I’ll snap back to reality
But I’ll be so fucking depressed
That I’ll crave that mentalityNo one can wake me
For almost a week
But when they finally do
I’m empty and bleakI’d rather be mental
Blissfully crazy
Than low, sad, or sleepy,
Vacant and lazyIt’s no easy task
Living life with bi-polar
Cause when she gets on a good one
Even I can’t control herStyle Score: 80
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I loved reading this, well written and heartbreaking. Hang in there.
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