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  • To those who are hard on themselves

    To someone who is too hard on themselves,

    You must be so anxious and stressed. You never seem to be where you want to be in life. I know how you feel because I have felt this way, too. My older sibling was always smarter than me. As a child, he did better in school than me, and as an adult, he certainly makes more money than me. It is as though I have had this bar way above my head my whole life. And no matter how hard I work or how many times I try, I never seem to jump high enough to graze that bar with my fingertips. And yet, I never stop trying.

    Throughout my adult life, I have worked weekends and nights. I have lost sleep as thoughts of work ruminate in my head, and I have pulled all-nighters just because I have felt like I needed to get more done. All too often, I find myself exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. And I have come to realize that those emotions are not helpful. I started my company, The Unsealed, 3.5 years ago, and until this past weekend, I hadn’t taken one vacation.

    An opportunity to go to Disney World arose. And seriously, who can say no to Disney World? I attended shows, tried out new rides, and ate at new restaurants for three days. It was so much fun. I gave my mind a break – a moment to live in the present and enjoy the people in my life and the blessings surrounding me. I drove home on Sunday. Now, it’s Monday, and I feel refreshed and motivated. The weekend made me realize how important it is to come up for air sometimes.

    For so long, I put pressure on myself and never took my foot off the gas. But that’s not healthy or productive. So, if you’re like me and push yourself very hard, I hope you learn to be kind to yourself, take breaks, and live in the moment. When you take days off, don’t think about work or whatever you are pushing yourself to do. Give your mind and your soul time to refresh, recharge and recalibrate.

    Your ambition probably won’t ever go away. But what I have come to realize is that if you want to do your best in life, it’s vital that you feel your best.

    Don’t measure your success with someone else’s bar. Prioritize your health and your happiness. And always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going.

    Lauren

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    • I love it, always appreciate where you are, where you’ve been and where you’re going, as well as who you are. “You are somebody”, and if everyone can feel this way about themselves, there will be much more love throughout our world. Everyone’s competing with each other. Trying to be better, to have better or more than the next. People need more…read more

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  • To my friend, Kris

    Dear Kris,

    Last year, I stumbled upon a CNN article entitled, “I have got terminal cancer. Here is why I am prioritizing travel.” The article shared how you were diagnosed at 48 years old with late stage four colon cancer. Despite the diagnosis, you remained committed to the activities that bring you joy in life, which include spending time with your family and traveling around the globe. I immediately knew I wanted to share your story with our community. I knew you would represent what The Unsealed is about: resilience, kindness, and strength. However, there was one result of meeting you I didn’t see coming..

    While The Unsealed is not nearly as well-known or as prominent as CNN, you immediately responded to me and happily agreed to share your story with me. You sat on zoom with me for more than an hour and shared with me the shock of discovering you had terminal cancer. You had this proud grin on your face as you told me how you captured your wife’s heart. And you told me about the abundance of joy you experience daily by being the father to your sweet, intelligent, curious young son, Braden. But more than just your story, how you approach life’s challenges clearly came across in our interview. And that is with boundless positivity and a pure heart. When you receive a cocktail of intense chemo, you do so with a cheerful disposition and kind words to share with the nurses and doctors who treat you. You don’t approach work or everyday life with a “Why me?” attitude, but instead, you see each day as a gift to enjoy with the people you love most. You are aware of the reality of your situation, but you do not let it take away from the people and places that make you smile, as you continue to travel the world and take walks on the beach with your wife and son.

    After interviewing you, we posted your story on The Unsealed in a letter to your wife and son. Then, you spoke to our community on one of our weekly zoom calls. Your zest for life and your pursuit of positivity are contagious. In the following months, I noticed I became more disciplined about staying optimistic about the challenges in my life. While starting a business is not nearly as difficult as battling cancer, it’s the obstacle I currently face. And because of you, instead of dwelling on what is going wrong, I started to look at what is going right and figure out how to lean into those tactics more. When a strategy I implement doesn’t go as planned, instead of feeling frustrated, I look for the lesson and adapt accordingly. When I interact with people, no matter how my day is unfolding, I always try to lead with kindness. The mindset you have helped shape within me has impacted my productivity, patience, and happiness. And as my company has grown, the process has become less stressful and more joyful.

    Kris, when I first came across your story, I knew you would inspire so many people, but what I didn’t know was how much you would influence me.

    Thank you.

    Keep fighting! Keep smiling! Keep being you!

    With love,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren, your heartfelt message to Kris is truly inspiring. Your meeting with Kris and his positivity in the face of terminal cancer has had a lasting impact on you. His resilience, kindness, and strength have motivated you to approach life’s challenges with boundless positivity and a pure heart. You have adopted a mindset of focusing on what is…read more

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  • You Raise Me Up

    Dear Kris,
    I first heard about your story on CNN. It was a most touching story about your serious illness and your love of travel with your family. My daughter, Lauren was lucky enough to be able to reach you. She wanted to interview you for The Unsealed. You were so gracious with your time. I read your words that you expressed to Lauren. I was amazed by your love for your beautiful wife and sweet son and your resiliency.
    When you came on Lauren’s weekly zoom meeting I was so moved by your story. You talked about your serious illness, the chemotherapy treatments you had to endure but also about the love you have felt from your family during your journey. Thru your challenging treatments you were able to bring joy into your life by taking wonderful vacations with your family. You would not let your diagnosis stop you from enjoying life. You were able to tell us about your trips with a smile on your face. Your bravery and strength touched my heart.
    Kris, your strength gives me the motivation to stay positive in the light of my own personal challenges. I wish you lots and lots of pain free quality time with your family. May you always travel the world spreading sunshine to all you encounter. As for me, I hope to continue to bask in the light of your positivity for many years to come. Thank you for being the amazing person you are and sharing your uplifting, beaming heart.

    Love,
    Shelley

    Shelley Brill

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    • This is beautiful, and this is something I’ve stated over and over in my personal story, as well as just passing the message to others. I’m a two-time cancer survivor and anyone who has gone through such an ordeal knows how hard it is to deal with. The most hardest thing ever, but even with that, I feel that you should enjoy your life even more…read more

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  • To my friend, Vernon

    Dear Vernon,

    The odds of us crossing paths were slim, but the domino effect of connecting with you was life-changing.

    When I tell people I know you, their first question is often, “How?” You played in the NFL while I was still in elementary school. You live in Texas. I have only visited the Lone Star state a few times. Our friendship came out of nowhere. It was 2017, and I was in bed randomly looking at LinkedIn when I saw a post about someone writing a letter to their younger self. I am unsure what made me read the story, but I clicked. The letter was so well-written and powerful. It was about your life story. You were the product of gang rape, and you shared your complicated relationship with your later mother. You mentioned something in that letter that you didn’t understand your mother’s reaction to her attack, but I could relate to her because I am also a survivor. So, I reached out to you to explain how my mind took time to process what had happened to me. I hoped that sharing my story would give you some clarity and peace.

    You responded to me almost immediately, and I think we chatted on the phone the same night. Then, the Super Bowl was in Houston that year, and I was headed down. We met in person, and you told me you were friends with Sheryl Sandberg, the then-COO of Facebook. She had recently written a book about people who persevere and mentioned you in the book. You introduced me to Sheryl, who asked me to share my story on her website publicly. I couldn’t say no to Sheryl, which led me to write an open letter to sexual assault survivors independently. My letter changed my life. Besides freeing me from years of shame and angst, it inspired me to move to Florida and start my company, The Unsealed. The Unsealed is a platform where people can write and share open letters about overcoming adversity.

    Through the years, we’ve remained friends, and you have shared your story on The Unsealed’s website and several of our weekly conversations with our community. You encourage me. You inspire me, and you believe in me.

    While I know we’ll always be friends, I still think it’s crazy we even met in the first place. I rarely read articles I see on LinkedIn, if ever. And it is even less often that I reach out to its author. I genuinely believe whether it was fate, or maybe your mom up there pulling strings, or one of my late loved ones, that night that I was lying in bed skimming LinkedIn, there was a larger power play – using your story and our newfound friendship – to lead me to my purpose.

    Forever grateful that the stars aligned,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren,the connection you shared with Vernon is truly life-changing. I’m happy for the power of fate and friendship you guys shared. It reminds me of the friendship we have together. Your strength inspires me every day. Thank you for believing in me and for being a part of my journey as well. I’m glad that you’re surrounded by people who motivate…read more

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  • We love our dogs

    Dear Mia and Cayley,
    We brought you both into our lives for the same reason. We love adorable little puppies. You are both very small dogs so you very huggable. Dog daddy and I needed a little bundle of joy to shower love on and you both fulfilled that need. Mia you came first 17 years ago. As I write this letter you are laying beside me. Thats comforting. Cayley, we brought you into our home 12 years ago. Right now you are with your Dad,Alan. You both bring us so much joy.
    My dear little baby dogs you are always with Daddy and I whenever we are home. Its the 4 of us in bed at night cuddling you both, making us humans feel safe and secure.
    Our 2 little dogs have brought so much joy into our lives. You both calm us down when we feel anxious and cheer us up when we are sad. You make us laugh when you do the adorable things you do. You are our best medicine for a good life. Mia and Cayley I cant Imagine life without you.

    Love,
    Mommy and Daddy ❤️

    Shelley and Alan

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    • Awwwwww, so sweet and I know some of how you feel. I love dogs so much, even after being bitten by one years ago, I still love them. I don’t own one right now, but that’s OK, I still have access to one, my grandkids dog, they call him Winter, because he loves when it’s cold out, love to lie in front of a fan or on a cold floor. He’s part of a…read more

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  • To my best and furriest friend, Wylie

    Dear Wylie,

    In 2012, I moved to Buffalo after receiving an offer to work as a sportscaster at a local station there. While I was excited about the opportunity, I was a little nervous about moving to a new city that I had never been to before my interview and where didn’t know a single soul. While I made friends quickly, within a couple of months of living there, I felt like there was a missing piece to my life in Buffalo. And that missing piece was you.

    I had this strong urge to get a puppy. Besides college and a year or two before moving to Buffalo, I have always lived with at least one dog. While I searched far and wide for the perfect puppy, I ended up getting you from the same place my parents purchased your older sister, Cayley.

    As soon as we met, we were inseparable. When you were a puppy, you never wanted to leave my side – so much so that you would cry when I was in the bath, and you would often try and hop in the shower with me. You never wanted to sleep alone, and somehow you managed to win the hearts of all my neighbors, so you were rarely ever home alone.

    We’ve been together for ten years, and you have been by my side through many ups and downs. You’ve growled at the boys who broke my heart, and you cuddled with me every day during 2020 – a year mostly spent with just you and me because of a global pandemic. While you like to pee everywhere, marking your territory, and you try to make babies with my parents’ Maltese, Mia, I still love you so much.

    You have brought so much love, warmth, and companionship to my life. You have been a part of my journey in ways I am sure I don’t even recognize. And while we have moved to three different cities and dealt with so many unexpected challenges, one constant throughout our last ten years is the love we show and have for each other.

    Thanks for always having my back and giving me kisses on command.

    I love you, WyWy

    With lots of hugs and kisses,

    Mommy

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    • This is precious, too cute and I’m so glad you have stuck together. Yes, he was stuck on you from the beginning. always wanting to be at your side and as you stated, have been since. I too love dogs and I love how they’re so loyal to you, so much better than our counterparts. I had a few dogs as I was growing up, but I don’t have one right now,…read more

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  • To my family, this is why I love the holiday season

    To My Family,

    When I was a child, kids in school tried to make me feel Christmas envy. We didn’t celebrate Christmas because we are Jewish. But I never felt like I missed out on anything. We got plenty of presents on Hannukah. Also, the holiday season usually meant a fun vacation: Skiing in Vermont, the beach in Aruba, a cruise around the Caribbean, or parties in Miami. Despite not celebrating Christmas, Christmas week was usually one of the most fun weeks of the entire year.

    This year, Mom and Dad, you will be with me in Florida, and my brother will be in New York with his wife. We will have Chinese food on Christmas Day and start our shopping adventures on December 26th. That’s when the really good sales kick in. We will eat too much, and I will complain that I cannot get nearly enough work done. We will send many pictures in our group chat of the items we got exceptional deals on and of our little adventures.

    Our holiday season may not have a Christmas tree, reindeer, or stocking stuffer, but like many people, the end of the year is a time for food, family, and fun. And that’s no different for us. Mom, Dad and the rest of our crazy family, I have always loved the holiday season, and that’s because of how much I love all of you.

    Cheers to another year of many moments of love, laughter, and a little bickering.

    With love,

    Lauren

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    • Dear Lauren,
      My memories of our Christmas vacations warm my heart. This time of year is so special because it gives families a chance to connect and spend time together having fun. I look forward to this year’s vacation. Nothing is more important and special then spending time with family. Hopefully next year we can add more of our l…read more

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    • My, My, I know too well how you feel and I’m sorry for you. I was raised in a large family, where we got together every single holiday at our mom’s house. People who lived alone on my mom’s street, thought she was so lucky to have many friends but none of her visitors were friends of hers, they were her own children with their children and it car…read more

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  • Dear 2022

    Dear 2022,

    When the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2022, I had high hopes for you – the upcoming year. I planned to build a new feature on The Unsealed – a pen pal system allowing users to post their content and write to each other. I was hopeful that this would be the “it” factor that would take my company to the next level. I thought I would sit back and enjoy the show once it launched.

    Personally, with COVID seemingly becoming less severe, I was excited about going out more and meeting new people. Maybe date someone new – or meet some new friends in Miami.

    Per usual, the year didn’t go exactly as planned. Just like every other year, there were some challenges I didn’t foresee. My mother had a cancer scare, and I lost a friend at 40 years old to brain cancer.

    It was tough, but I continued to march forward as I always do.

    When I launched our Pen Pal network, I quickly realized that we were helping people and had something special. However, I also realized that we laid the foundation but still needed to build the house. There are elements we need to add. We still need to figure out a flow and a clearer user-generated experience.

    Outside of work, I have met new people – some were lessons, while others have been a whole lot of laughter.

    While 2022 didn’t lead to everything I wanted, I feel closer to all that I desire. I evolved personally and professionally. I have a better idea of who I want in my life and what I need to do to realize my dreams.

    While my hopes for next year are similar to those from last year, I am thankful for a journey filled with amazing people, passion, and purpose.

    It’s been real. Thanks for the memories, 2022.

    With gratitude,

    Lauren

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    • Great stuff Lauren. I know that you deserve only the best. And if I know you well enough , you will get only the best. It’s what you do 🙂
      Look out 2023!

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    • I truly enjoy this platform. I’ve read stories that have made me laugh and some that have brought me to the. You are truly changing lives through your work. Thank you for all that you do.

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    • Yes, thanks for the memories. I love it. We should all look back at all that we’ve accomplished the year before, if only to see what we did, how we can do it better, and what’s next. You did what you can to build this platform and it will continue as long as you allow it. Yes you will make many decisions, some will pan out and some may not, but…read more

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    • I admire you. You never gave up and continued with your plan no matter the hiccups. And you are so srong, even though you lost a friend (I’m sorry for your loss) you kept it moving like a boss. Thank you for sharing

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  • Dear Jane,

    I first heard about you thru your brilliant performances in movies. That first movie was “Barefoot in the Park”. You were a non-traditional wife. You played that character as a woman who was not afraid to demand from the people around her what she wanted from them. That role probably reflected who you were as young woman. Somewhere in time, I decided to read your biography. Your Mother took her life when you were just 12 years old. Needless to say you had a very unhappy childhood even though your Dad was a very famous star.
    I guess I was drawn to you because you were and still are so talented, beautiful and smart. I wanted to be the kind of woman you were. You have always been brave and very outspoken about important political issues, even when those issues were not popular.
    About 10 years ago I was lucky enough to see you perform live in a broadway show. You had a scene where you were required to cry. The tears started rolling down. You must have had a lot of pain in your heart to be able to shed those tears night after night. After the show I got to meet you at the stage door. I told you how the scene with your father in “On Golden Pond”where you and your Dad cried was so touching. You expressed love to each other which your character and your father’s character never did. It was obvious to the audience that this scene was actually real life. It was very powerful and it really moved me. It taught me that one should always express their love. You never know when that opportunity will be taken away from you. Thank you Jane for opening up your heart to the world. Thank you also for being a strong voice for climate control. You strive to save the world.

    Your admirer,
    Shelley

    Sent from my iPhone

    Shelley

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    • Beautiful, and I knew exactly which Jane was speaking of, as well as her famous Father. She was one of my most famous stars growing up. I used to copy some of her exercise videos. I loved this woman. She was also a model at the age she wanted and it’s what I’m doing right now, at the age of 66. I didn’t know enough about her to know when she lost…read more

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  • Gabrielle, this is how you helped lay the foundation for my future

    Dear Gabrielle Union,

    When I was a teenager, you starred in the most popular movies of my generation, such as She’s All That and Bring It On. Your career has stood the test of time, but for me (and the world), your relevance extends well beyond your movie credits.

    At a young age, you helped lay the foundation for a life I didn’t even yet know I was building.

    When I was 16 years old, I was drugged and sexually assaulted by two strangers. In the years following my assault, I didn’t want to tell anyone.

    I was embarrassed.

    I didn’t want to be viewed as a victim.

    I thought the way these boys treated me was a reflection of my weakness.

    So, for nine years, my assault was my secret.

    However, I remember watching an interview where you talked about your rape. I don’t know where the interview aired. I don’t remember who interviewed you or how old I was when I saw it. And the only comment I recall was about how race plays a role in how our society responds to rape. Even so, that interview changed the way I began to think about myself and my own story.

    What stuck with me most is not necessarily what you said but how you spoke.

    You weren’t weak. You did not sound like my vision of a “victim.”

    Instead, you made me feel as though I shouldn’t be embarrassed.

    It was you who made me realize that speaking up IS fighting back.

    Nine years after my assault, I finally told my mom what had happened to me. And 15 years after that horrible night, I published an open letter to sexual assault survivors telling them what hurt me didn’t hold me back.

    Two years after sharing my story publicly, I started a company called The Unsealed. It is a safe space for people to share their stories in the form of open letters – to use their past to empower themselves and give hope, inspiration, and knowledge to others.

    Through the years, I have continued to watch the way you move through the world:

    – Following you on social media.
    – Watching the roles you play in movies and TV.
    – Listening to your interviews whenever I come across them.

    Your fearlessness to advocate for what you believe is right while unapologetically being yourself has continued to serve as an example of the type of person I want to be in this world.

    Gabrielle, you set the foundation for my future because you were the first woman I heard speak of their assault from a place of confidence, and fierceness. You were the first person I vividly remember turning their truth into power.

    And because of you, I was able to transform my secret into what I now call my superpower and then create a safe space for so many others to do the same.

    Thank you for your courage. Your voice led me to discover my strength.

    Lauren Brill

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  • Why I broke off my engagement and what it taught me

    Dear Unsealed Community,

    When I was 19 years old, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to chase my dream as a sportscaster. In pursuit of that dream,  I started working at the NBA. I commuted two hours from Columbia University to New Jersey, three days a week, because I was committed. I wanted to network with people who worked in sports. I wanted to hone my writing skills and learn more about the broadcasting industry. This job was supposed to be the first step to the rest of my life. But it nearly took me off course, and everyone, except me, thought I should be thrilled.

    While working at the NBA, I met someone. He was my co-worker. We had the same schedule – or so I thought. I found out later that he was coming to work when he wasn’t scheduled to spend more time with me. We got along so well. We could talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. Soon after meeting, we started dating, and our relationship escalated quickly. Within a year, he left the NBA and began working in finance. We moved in together in an apartment in New York City and got engaged. I was only 21 years old – still a senior in college. He treated me well. We had no drama – no lying, no cheating, no bullshit—just two young people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

    He checked every box.

    My parents were happy. My friends thought I was so lucky. And in society’s eyes, my life was going very well.

    The only problem was that I was miserable. I was not ready to be someone’s wife. I didn’t want to sacrifice opportunities for my career for a relationship. My ring felt like a handcuff, chaining me to a life I didn’t yet want.

    I stayed in the relationship for four years because, logically, we made sense. According to society, this relationship is what I should want. But I was so unhappy which led me to question myself more times than I could count.

    “Why don’t I want this relationship?”

    “How come I am not on cloud nine?”

    “Isn’t this is what I should want?”

    “Is there something wrong with me?”

    Ultimately, it took every ounce of strength I had to end the relationship. It was one the most difficult decisions I have ever made, as I had to hurt someone I loved – someone who never would have hurt me.

    However, I knew, long term, it wasn’t fair to either one of us if I stayed in a relationship that I didn’t genuinely want. In the days, weeks and months following our breakup, I felt a sense of relief and freedom. I pursued my career, moved out of New York, and I have since chased every single dream or goal I’ve ever had.

    To this day, people still think I was crazy to end the relationship – especially since I am now 36 and single. But I have never had any regrets.

    Looking back, I learned that sometimes we doubt ourselves when our desires differ from the expectations the world sets for us. But deep down, each of us know what we want, and all we need is the courage to pursue it relentlessly.

    Be who you are – not who others expect you to be.

    Lauren

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    • Sometimes the hardest this is letting go of what no longer serves you. I’m glad that you left a situation that made you unhappy. You pursued your dream and look where you are now!! Thank you for sharing.

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    • This is amazing. It sucks to let go of those you love but if it doesn’t make you happy you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness to appease others. Things change but life goes on. Thank you for sharing

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  • Mom, Here is why I am strong

    Dear Mom,

    You once told me that you don’t worry about me because you know no matter what, I will always be OK. You said to me that throughout my life, whatever challenges I faced, I somehow always managed to persevere. You told me you know me better than anyone else. After all, you’re not only my mother but also my best friend.

    You know everything about me.

    Mom, through all my life’s challenges, you have been by my side.

    When my fourth-grade crush pretended to throw up when he found out I liked him, you told me, “Don’t worry, you’re beautiful, and there will be plenty of boys that will like you.”

    When my first love broke my heart, “You told me to let it go – not to give him the power to make me sad or ruin my day.

    When I did poorly on a test in school, you would spend hours studying with me.

    When my boyfriend died, “You cried with me at the funeral.”

    When I started The Unsealed, “You told me to go for it.”

    And each day, when I share my fears and worries as an entrepreneur, you tell me to keep going. You tell me you believe in me. You give me ideas, and you help me to keep pushing.

    Mom, you have seen me bounce back from a broken heart, disappointment in my career, and loss. And while, yes, I have always been OK, I believe it is because I have always had you.

    I love you so much. Your support, love, and constant presence are the secret to my strength.

    Thank you,

    Lauren

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    • Lauren your mom is the reason you are the way you are today. She gave you such a huge precious mindset and I’m glad you have someone who you can call your best friend. She gave you so much wise words when it came to the tribulations that you had in your life. This is such a beautiful letter that shows her loving character.

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    • Yes, you were always OK, no matter what you went through, because you always knew you had that one someone who would cater to you, give you love and support you no matter what, so no one else really mattered. The secret to your strength, love it. Your mother should always be your greatest supporter, your comforter, your go to, your crying partner…read more

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  • I surprised myself

    Dear Unsealers,
    In a world ever changing technologically, it is sometimes difficult to keep up. I know this because I came to the computer late in life.
    About 25 years ago I was hired as a pharmaceutical sales representative. My new employer handed me a computer and told me that everything I do in the field needs to be recorded on the computer. That included physician discussions, sampling activity and goals for the next sales interaction. In addition, I was told to set up my whole territory on excel sheets and create pie charts displaying market share. Oh my gosh! I was overwhelmed and terrified. Could I ever master this machine or would it be my great downfall?
    I decided I was going to have to learn a new skill. I sought guidance and tutorials from my more knowledgeable peers. I practiced every night following the instructions as to how to do different tasks. Also, the company help desk employees became my good friends.
    I discovered in myself that I could actually learn a new skill even when that skill seemed really daunting. Today I am pretty proficient on the computer. It feels like I climbed a tall mountain, got to the top, breathed in some fresh air and then patted myself on the back and screamed I did it!!

    Shelley

    Shelley

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    • And don’t you feel much better about it? We can do anything we truly put our mind to, especially if we’re willing to learn, and the thing is, we’re never too old in life to learn something, even if we’re too old to perform it daily, we can still learn.

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      • Hi Karen, Thank you for your feedback. I really like what you said. You made me feel proud of my accomplishment which came late in my life.Stay in touch!
        Shelley

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    • You did it!! It’s a funny thing fear is. It’ll try to knock you down and tell you that you can’t do it but with strength you over came that and now you have a new valuable skill. Thank you for sharing.

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      • Hi Mavis,
        How sweet of you to recognize my struggle and comment. Yes with determination we can accomplish almost anything in life, i will try to remember this. Thank you for inspiring me. All the best!
        Shelley

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  • Lauren Brill shared a letter in the Group logo of Magical MomentsMagical Moments group 1 year, 5 months ago

    I didn't think I was smart enough to go to Columbia

    To The Unsealed Community,

    When I graduated high school, I honestly didn’t know what to expect from myself.

    After getting waitlisted, I got accepted to Columbia in mid-June of my senior year of high school. At the time, Columbia ranked top five in the nation. And while I was thrilled to be accepted, there was a part of me that was unsure if I was worthy of the admission.

    I told my family I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t smart enough to go, and I was considering going elsewhere.

    My brother, who had just graduated from Columbia, responded, “If you don’t take this opportunity, you will regret it for the rest of your life. I promise you will be able to do the work.”

    I trusted my brother and decided to attend, even though I was scared and uncertain if I would measure up to my peers.

    My first year at Columbia was by far the hardest. My grades depended on papers, and I wasn’t the best writer. Not to mention, we had to take many required classes – some of which I found pretty boring. But I muscled through it, and I was determined to thrive.

    Thankfully, Columbia had a writing center where tutors looked through your paper sentence by sentence and provided feedback. I spent hours each week at the writing center, and after a year or so, my writing significantly improved. So much so that in the last two years of college, I received an A on every single paper I submitted.

    It’s hard to believe that I almost passed down an incredible opportunity because I didn’t believe in myself.

    Now, whatever challenge I face in life, I still don’t know what to expect from myself. But my experience at Columbia taught me that if I push myself and work hard, I should always expect to surprise myself.

    We are all capable of way more than we even know.

    Always believe in your greatness,

    Lauren

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    • OMG, that sounds like me a little, You were much younger than I was with these thoughts, I was older with these same thoughts, not thinking at my age I could get into a college and complete it. It was my fault, I kept pushing college back for years, and once I got in my 60’s, I decided to go and all I thought about was, there’s no way I’m going to…read more

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  • What I love about me

    To The Unsealed Community,

    When I was ten years old, I was in love.

    I grew up in the 1990s, and like most other girls in my generation, I thought Jonathan Taylor Thomas, aka JTT, was my future husband. He played Randy on Tim Allen’s Home Improvement. I had posters of him in my room, and I listened to love songs imagining the two of us on long walks in the park.

    Ahead of my eleventh birthday, my father asked what I wanted as a gift.

    I told my Dad, “I would like to meet JTT.”

    My Dad chuckled and said, “What’s your second choice?”

    I said, “Dad, there is no second choice. That is what I want.”

    He told me he didn’t have that kind of power. So, I said fine and told him I would figure it out myself.

    Later that week, I went on the internet and started searching. I knew there had to be a way to meet my crush. It wasn’t long before I stumbled across a charity event for Audrey Hepburn’s charity for children. The event hosted movie premiers, fashion shows, and after-parties with child stars in New York City, forty minutes away from my home. The list of child actors had to be one hundred deep: Mara Wilson, Michelle Trachtenberg, Rider Strong, Devon Sawa, and, sure enough, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

    Tickets for events were cheap – $10 -$40 per event, per person. So, for my birthday, my mother and I got a hotel room in the city, and I attended JTT’s premiere of the movie Wild America. I manipulated my way to the front of the crowd and befriended JTT’s security, who arrived at the theater a half hour before JTT did. As luck would have it, like every other man in the world, the security guard had a crush on my mother. I ended up in the elevator with JTT and got a picture and a kiss on the cheek. And then, he sat right behind me in the theater. I swear there were moments when he leaned forward, and I could feel him breathing on my neck. The next day at the fashion show, the security guard snuck us backstage. I met nearly every star there, and my 11-year-old self was in heaven.

    One of the qualities I love most about myself is I go after what I want. I don’t take no for an answer. I believe I was born with this relentless and determined spirit.

    Whether it was meeting JTT at eleven years old, becoming a sportscaster in my 20s, or starting a business in my 30’s, I have never taken “No” for an answer. No has always just meant, “Find another way.”

    Through the years, the stakes have increased, and the challenges are sometimes even more unrealistic. But without looking back, I have continued after whatever I have wanted in life.

    Even if some days are hard, I live life with no regrets, no what ifs or would have, could have, should haves.

    And while I may not have married JTT, like I once planned. Going after him, along with all the other things I love in life, has made me love myself and all that I am even more.

    Lauren

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    • You are so inspiring. You have that go getter mentality and I love it. Never lose that let of you. It’s a blessing. To be so motivated and grab what you want most. Thank you for sharing.

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    • You’re like the real life wonder woman. Determined and fearless in your endeavors, and never gives up no matter the situation. You truly are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing

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  • Love was my Safe Haven

    Dear unsealed community,
    When I was 23 years old I was living with my parents and 2 sisters in Nanuet,N. Y. My father, who was a chemical engineer, owned and aerosol factory. One night we got a call from the Haverstraw police. My father’s factory blew up in the middle of the night. My father drove the 20 minutes up to Haverstraw at 3:00am to see his building burnt to the ground. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
    Unfortunately this event meant my Dad had to find another place to make a living. He was offered a job working for a company in Lima,Ohio. He was going to merge with this company before the fire. Now he was forced to go work for them. This turn of events led to a very scary time for me personally. My parents had to move away and leave me and my sister in New york where we were both enrolled in college.
    For the next year I had so much anxiety and felt so sad. My parents were so far away. I missed them so much. I cried every night.
    After a year I met my husband Alan. He was very comforting. He understood how I felt because he was very close with his family.He became my safe space.
    Talking about my feelings with Alan, who was a great listener, helped to release my fears and anxieties. He even came with me the first time I went to visit my parents in Ohio. After a couple of years my coping skills became stronger and I mentally began to accept that I would never be able to live with my parents again. Time does tend to heal wounds. Having a safe space and person like my husband to support me is a gift I will appreciate for the rest of my life.

    Shelley Brill

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    • This is touching, and we don’t realize when we’re growing up that one day we would have to do without our parents. We figured that they will always be with us, until they’re not. It’s very hard, but as you stated, you do heal, you do one day get passed that, but it’s hard at first. What makes it better is when you find someone else to help feel…read more

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    • Isn’t crazy how growing up looks so different for everyone. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like to have your parents move away. I’m so glad that you were able to find your person. Time does heal all wounds and talking about it often helps heal you. We truly don’t realize how fast we’re growing up until we’re forced to become fully indep…read more

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  • Lauren Brill shared a letter in the Group logo of Mental HealthMental Health group 1 year, 5 months ago

    I broke off my engagement and went to my "safe space"

    To The Unsealed Community,

    There was a period when I was 24 years old when I was drowning in guilt, stress, and confusion. I was engaged to an incredible person. But, sadly, my beautiful ring felt more like a handcuff than a gift, as it chained me to a life I was not yet ready to live. How was I supposed to tell someone who loved me, encouraged me, and lived with me that I just wasn’t ready?

    It wasn’t easy, but I burst into tears one morning and let my feelings out. As my ex-fiance played the song Breakeven by The Script, I packed up and left. Hurting someone, I cared about – someone who would have never hurt me – was one of – if not the most – difficult thing I have ever done.

    Even though I left him, the days and months after our breakup were not easy for me. The guilt was exhausting. I questioned my decision – or why I felt the way I did in the first place. Not to mention, I missed my best friend, who I ate dinner with every night and shared every bit of my day with for four years.

    Immediately after I moved out, I started to escape into my safe space. I’d lace up and take off 6 – 10 miles every day. Rollerblading was my safe space. At the time, Central Park was my go-to path. I’d go around the big loop, stop at the fountain near the boathouse around 72nd street, and just be still for about ten minutes before I headed back.

    I always skated by myself. Skating helped me dump whatever weight I carried – literally and metaphorically speaking. It cleared my head and released a lot of tension. Over time, after many miles, I started to heal and move on with my life (as did he).

    To this day, I still skate regularly, and it’s still very much a safe space for me. Whether it’s a loss, a relationship, career woes, or anything else making me feel stuck or trapped in my own life, my skates can and will always set me free.

    Lauren

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  • To My Surprise, I Found My Courage

    It was 12 months into the covid pandemic. It was a very challenging time for the world. Personally, I was struggling. I hadn’t seen my daughter for a year and only saw my son from a long distance a few times even though he lived close by.
    Then we started to be feel bolstered by the fact that a vaccine was coming in April. Could this vaccine really change the trajectory of this virus? Could I see my daughter again who was isolated alone in a building in florida? A year is a very long time to to be separated from your child. I was hopeful but frightened.
    What was I frightened about? Actually the exact thing that gave me hope at the same time really scared me as well. I wondered. Is this vaccine safe? How would it effect my health, my husband’s health and my children’s health. What would happen when they injected the virus into my body. I had always worked so hard to live a healthy lifestyle. Now I was putting a new vaccine into my body that did not have many years of research behind it. It was not just scary. It was terrifying.
    Well the day came when my
    husband and I had to drive to Jersey City Medical Center to get that first vaccine. We both were nervous but I decided to trust the scientists and pharmaceutical industry which I have been a part of for the last 45 years. Since Alan and I are older we were getting the vaccine before our children. This turned into another form of motivation for me. I thought I will take this vaccine to give researchers more information as to how people tolerate the vaccine. So we masked up to the point that Alan and I looked like astronauts going into space. We gave the nurse our information, rolled up our sleeves. I started to sob. I cried for several reasons. Sadness for all the suffering covid had brought to the world, fear I was going to die at that moment but most importantly I cried because I arrived at this moment where I found my bravery. I faced my fear took the shot and thought perhaps our world would turn around and we could reunite with love ones. Perhaps we could all live again. My tears eventually turned to joy and pride that day. Could there be a light at the end of this dark tunnel? Well I am here and thank goodness my family is too.

    Shelley Brill

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    • Hello Mrs. Brill,

      Thanks for sharing this. You were definitely not alone in having so many emotions related to the vaccine. I had a lot of emotions surrounding it too. I find it refreshing when people are able to share their emotions so freely and vulnerably without putting down people who have different perspectives. Your letter is so raw,…read more

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    • OMG, this touched me so much, I felt it so deeply, because I understood every word stated. I too was scared of the vaccine, not only because it was new, but because I have/had many other illnesses that the vaccine may effect and I think it did, but I wanted to spend time with my daughter/grandkids, so I did it. But a little time after having it, I…read more

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    • Covid was such a scary time. The vaccines were even scarier for a second there. I can’t believe that we as a collective experienced something so chaotic. I’m so glad that you were able to face your fear and we’re able to reunite with your loved ones. Thank you for sharing.

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  • Lauren Brill shared a letter in the Group logo of Mental HealthMental Health group 1 year, 5 months ago

    My first year of college was filled with fear

    To The Unsealed Community,

    Typically, I am not someone who visibly shows the world how I feel. Whether it was a big loss in sports as a teenager or in fourth grade when a boy pretended to throw up when he found out I liked him, I have often, without even trying, kept a poker face.

    But how I look doesn’t always reflect how I feel.

    During my first year of college, I was having the time of my life: a new school, a new romance, a new city, and lots of new friends.

    I looked like a happy, typical college student exploring an exciting new world. And in many ways, I was just that. However, amid this incredible adventure and privilege, there were moments I was overwhelmed and nearly debilitated by fear.

    When the sun went down, I was terrified to walk on campus alone. It was only a year and a half since I had been drugged and sexually assaulted by two strangers. I felt so vulnerable that someone could hurt me again at any moment. Whether walking back from dinner, a party, or my boyfriend’s dorm, whenever I was by myself at night, my heart would race, and I would feel this aching pit in my stomach.

    Sometimes, when I made it safely, I would go to a bathroom stall or somewhere private and let out a few tears, just as a sigh of relief. Walking at night on what was a beautiful and, statistically speaking, safe campus was a horrible, unsettling feeling – one that I had no idea if it would ever go away.

    There are many ways I could have responded. I could have gone home – quit school, and simply remained in the confines of my parents’ home. I could have stopped going out and stayed in my room after dark. I could have withdrawn entirely and hidden from all my fears.

    But I didn’t. Instead, my 17-year-old self, consciously or subconsciously, chose to be brave.

    I dared to ask for what I needed and took advantage of those offering to help. I told my boyfriend I was scared and asked him to walk me home from parties or back to my dorm room. If he wasn’t available, there were five other 6’5 football players who told me to call or text whenever I needed someone to walk me home.

    I had the courage to keep showing up, to keep walking, and to ask for what I needed, knowing deep down I didn’t want this fear to hold me back. No matter how often my heart raced or I got that pain in my stomach, I kept going out. I kept meeting friends, and  attending parties and clubs. Daily, I left my comfort zone, which allowed me to fully enjoy the college experience.

    While I still don’t love walking alone at night, my anxiety doesn’t reach the level it once did. And because I didn’t let my fear stop me then, I certainly won’t let my fear stop me now.

    Lauren

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    • This is very inspiring especially to someone who relates to being traumatized to the point where you don’t want to interact with others or lock yourself away . Thank you for your vulnerability and I’m sorry that you went through that

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      • Aww thank you. I read all your stories that you post. YOUR strength is very inspiring to me. And the thing I learned through my own journey is whatever pain you feel, it can get better. We have so much power within ourselves – especially you. I am in complete awe of your strength. Thank you for reading my story and for your vulnerability as well.

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  • My grandparents filled my heart with love.

    Dear Grandma Urdang and Grandpa Urdang,
    Growing up Mom and Dad took me almost every weekend to visit you in Greenich Village. We either drove into the city or in later years came down the palisade parkway to visit you on the very cool west 4 th street in the west village. You lived in a 100 year old nyc city historic landmark apartment building on the 3rd floor without an elevator. Your apartment was far from fancy or nicely decorated. It was dark and a bit dreary but I had the absolutely best time coming to see you and Grandpa. When I was very little you both would kiss my hands and face and call me shana maidela (which is Yiddish for pretty girl). You made me feel so beautiful.
    Homemade chicken soup was always the meal we shared. Yum. delicious. When I was 14 my parents told me I could take the bus from Rockland County to the 42nd street bus terminal by myself to come visit you. I loved those times I had you all to myself. Unfortunately, in later years it was just you grandma. I think at that point you were starting to face your mortality so you decided to give me money every time I came to visit. Now I want you to know that kind gesture that you insisted on giving me touched me but that was nothing compared to the affection and love I received from you. I felt like I was your favorite grandchild. Maybe all your grandchildren felt that way. It did not matter. I so cherished the loving bond we had. I hope I gave you as much joy as you gave me and I hope I always made you proud. I know the life I have lived and the love I am able to give my family is a direct result of the sweetness you surrounded me with throughout my childhood. I so miss you both.
    Your shana maidela,
    Shelala

    Shelley Brill

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    • Shelley

      This is a sweet story. I’m glad you got so much love from your grandparents. Chicken soup never sounded so good before. I can picture you having chicken soup with your grandparents on a cold day in NYC. Your letter makes me miss my grandparents. I remember my grandad getting me a candy bar and giving it to me. I miss going to my…read more

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