Inspiration isn’t close to this new motivation in life to conquer the next day.
the next month…shit.
my next breath
breathing in my youthful days of life feels like what people say an elephant’s foot on the chest
except I love elephants and you, lover, loved earth 
you loved the earth so much, that you accepted landscaping as an occupation
you smelled like all the elements at once
every season, in one person
now for me to be in my room is like to decline your invitation to meet you outside 
your new residency 
now my motivation is to meet you, lover, where the sun shines
to meet you where the rain falls
where the wind drifts
and where the ground keeps me in touch where your body is now a part of
you are my earth, wind, and fire, lover
and I’m the water that feeds the tears to keep your flowers blooming
you see… life is inspiring even after you because when I feel delusional, my lover
I await the next day you will come home
and when I’m realistic I fight for a life you were working so hard to achieve for us…
you were turning 21 lover… and now my birthday comes without you 
so, when they ask me how life inspires me… well I don’t know
I want to make it to the birthday you, my lover, will not
life has inspired me because death is pushing me 
striving for the next day not to be better or worse than yesterday or yesterday’s today
but to feel life’s pure innocence and simplicity
a pure reflection of you
lover I appreciate the existence you placed in this life
it was a blissful experience to have you
and you, lover, are my greatest reward in this life, to be your last lover 
this life has rewarded and given me so many heartaches and you were my biggest and achiest love of all
how curious this life has made me see more of what I can feel, breathe, ache, and heal from all over again
thank you, lover, for this beautiful gift you have taught
thank you, lover, for this life you chosen to spend with me
and thank you death, for showing me true boldness, courage, and most of all true essence of beauty.
without you, death, these gestures of life would not be as meaningful
 love and death have inspired me to dig so deep within myself that I feel mandated to enrich any love I have left 
so the next love is the love I carry until death snips me away to unite us once again
you wanted to vow until death do us apart 
death has parted us until
the next life
Love, your last lover.