My screen is a scene of something obscene
It’s so serene I hear Myself scream I deemed it extreme
Im not to keen to dream it seems, I mean…..

I pray God send you back to me
I loved you before I knew you
I still love you
Stink-stink
My boo boo
I will always love you
You would have been 7 years old
Some friends tell me Happy mothers day
I smile to cover up the pain that’s inside of me
It’s hard for me to open up to explain to others what happened
I wish I knew what you would have looked like
Still wonder if you were going to be a baby boy “Legend”
Or a “Diamond” princess
I wish I knew your favorite toy
Your favorite cartoon
favorite food
favorite fruit
favorite veggie
favorite ice cream
favorite hobby
favorite color
favorite book
I know uncle Jimmy would have been your favorite uncle
Sherice & Klanice your favorite twin aunties
All I wanted was the best for you
Lead you in the right direction
I wanted you to have a father
That knew the definition of being a father
And act on it
I was so happy when I confirmed I was due 3/30/2017
But I was scared too
So I sat down and thought everything through
I rather have a child by a real man with father experience
Even with no father experience but is ready and willing to sacrifice
And do everything he can to make sure his child is well taken care of
And I was guaranteed to have a real man that had my back one hundred percent
Then I would have never had any doubts
I still look at my ultrasound picture
My body freezes up looking at my seed I was carrying
Small thing you
Sometimes as I sit and write
But yet my kid not hugging or kissing me
Or saying, “mommy I love you”
I feel so empty inside
The sorrow is so heavy
So deep
I pray God
Bring me back my princess or prince
Beautiful
Handsome
Healthy and all.

My little angel 😇 💛

Based on a true story

My sibling
Her oldest child father always gave me the creeps since i was 9 years old
I always felt awkward around this creep
I was so happy when this creep got sentence threw years in prison
I did not have to see his face for a while
My sibling accused me of having a crush
This situation is one of the reasons
My sibling and I cannot ever be sisters

1998 this creep ends up getting released from prison
My parents gave him a roof over his head
Which was the biggest mistake ever
When my sibling eyes were not looking
This creep bull dog evil eyes were watching me
When my family members were not watching this creep would stimulate his own penis with his hand
Yo cause himself to ejaculated
And would have a seductive smile on his dirty ass face
He would Peek at me through the bedroom closet door that was connected to the bathroom
This creep would watch me undress
Or when he heard the shower water turn off
And I would step out of the shower
His eyes were staring at me
I felt so violated
My freshman year in high school
I still remember
I was attending Crawford High
Living on Streamview Street
I was so afraid of going home after school
Because both of parents were working at the same time
My brother would be out running the streets with his friends
My older sibling hateful sibling would be at work or attending college
When I used to finally arrive home from school the sick creep would be laying on the dark gray living room carpet floor watching television
I would just walk straight back to my bedroom that was in the hallway on the left side from my parents bedroom
Close and lock myself inside
Put my dark beige flower couch behind my door to feel safer
And wait for family members to come home
I would even wait for my jealous sibling to come home so she can keep an eye on her demon
Flash back
I still remember this awful night like it was yesterday
I fell asleep on the same dark gray living room carpet floor
My Jada Pickett Smith set it off Bob braids
The touch of this creep filthy hands touching on my behind (butt)
While I was asleep
Froze me
I was froze like frozen cold ice
My eyes lit up
But I still did not make a move or make a sound
The whole time this creep touching me
I played asleep
I cried
After he was done touching me
I stayed laid flatly up on my stomach
On the living room floor for about a minute or two
Then finally I got up and went into my parents bedroom
Like a rabbit
I hopped into bed with my parents
Crying in my mother’s arms
I felt I lost my innocence
The sick bitch violated my freshness by touching me
But this whole situation got swept under the rug
Some family members even thought I was lying
But what will I get out of lying? Nothing
Till this day I hate this child molester
If I was told this sick ass creep got murdered
I will not have any remorse.

I want to send a message to young women that has been through the same situation do not be afraid to tell somebody, even the police. Get creeps like this off the street. If a family member choose not to believe you, do not give up talking to someone and remember you are not alone.

My heart is broke I’m begining to sulk
My tears are for fears that you might not be back do you have to go away for this long? I don’t think Im strong for lack of a better word, maybe I’m being absurd
First time I saw you I knew you were the one.
Starring in to each others eyes our lips touched and that was it, I was hit with cupid’s arrow.
Now years later a lie was created
doubted thoughts loom and you assume.
My heart drops what did I do I never knew you felt like this I must’ve missed.
I want to give you a kiss and be in bliss again with you, this what I really want to do
I miss you

This is but a thought the truth of what our nation is coming to
Fiddle De De fiddle de dumb biden’s got his thumb up his bum, he gave Ukraine another lump sum.
Migrants galore, Chicago ignore. They say the American dream is a lore. It rocks me to my bitter core.
The opponent stays quiet, so there won’t be a riot.
My words are honest, but I can’t promise they won’t cause strife. Think of your life.
I’m not political, I’m not semitic
but I said it…
Eat the rich, but not the poor
too many citizens lying on the floor
My lord…
They say COVID is coming back and it’s going to attack. Relax it’s just tact
The election is coming The press is running and they are cunning.
My thoughts are clear a mere sense of clarity
A rarity indeed I’m not trying to mislead It’s just a seed.

Hello in there, is your head working yet? Here just take another pill.
For breakfast every morning I have a colorful array of meds.
Just so I can fit in, I hate it I really do. don’t worry here’s another pill to cheer you up, one to keep u from your nightmarish dreams. One to stay awake, one for pain, another to be in a. Good mood, one to make you stay in a good mood. but it might take a few meds to find the right one
My mind feels perfectly fine.
Another appointment? Let’s change it up. A few MG’s up a few down.
Are you ready for another round
Ya, I’m down.
I hear a sound. Let’s wing it this timeIt’ll be fine, You’ll feel so much better. You might even get a little thinner.
Who knows, the sky’s the limit! That’s the ticket, keep on taking them they’ll keep on making em.
Addicting those that are weak, and seem to only seek The ones they can critique….

Surviving addiction it’s an affliction calling out for an intervention
Spend my time wondering why it took a hold of me. Eyes are wide Breath is high
Time is a wasting well I’m chasing my dragon
Tag you’re it! It’s my turn already?
I can’t even, I’m not steady
On your mark get set go, GI Joe the more you know.
My name is Danielle and I can’t even tell
I’m ready to give up I’ve had enough.

Am I really entering the world of addicy oh the audacity
am I really that into it
I am really that into it
You deserved this
You treversed this
Why cant I leave this room
It’s doom and gloom
Im starting to tune this out
Searching, nay saying
I’m just trying to say
When the fuck did I get here
This must be a joke,
and then I awoke

Woke up in a daze not feeling like I wanted to go to work. I attempted to call out. Talked to my boss it was a definite NO, I need you come in… Uhg so I did. feeling bad about leaving my boss hangin I strolled in to work every thing was fine just as it should be. I set up and took my first client.second, third and so on and so forth, I noticed a boy and his mother walk in and sit down. The mother was called by the stylist the sat up front probably about 11 or 12 I would say… All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see him grabbing his throat and trying to cough. Without even a thought or a memory of how I got from.here to there it was like an outer body experience watching from above myself in motion attending and defending this little boys will to live. It was crazy, each thrust I felt his body get tighter it seemed like forever I was giving the heimlich maneuver. I’ll tell ya… it wasn’t “I hope” this thing. Comes out it was “going to” come out…. And it did the boy with a blue hue had a natural color to him again.
thank you to who ever what ever that was that came over me the boy started to cough just as the EMTs arrived I stepped a way. They were all clapping, my boss was crying and shaking as was I. My boss pulled me out back to talk she was like how, why if you took the day off…. I just glad you were here today.
The mother of the boy however was beyond her self gave me a hug asked how could she ever repay me for saving the boy I said to her… Him being
alive and breathing is payment enough.
This is my memorable moment….

Chasing, pacing, racing
Only in my dreams
I want so bad to see them come true
But I haven’t come to terms with seeing it thru my desires and wants take second stage
To the battle that is everyday
Someday I hope I can make them happen
Glory day, I hope and pray for my time to come
Though It lasts just a second
And then it ends…
it’s already written

Steady as I go
Inspiration pouring out my soul
Mind and body collide
Heart and soul coincide
Fact and fiction divide
Making you feel alive
Sometimes I get real
I kneel and pray to a god not yet saved
Steal and pay for the next day
You’ll find a way
Just stay, don’t run
It could way a ton
My thoughts exactly
Don’t beg just ask me
I’ll stay till the light burns out
Be quiet and listen to your first decision
Be quiet and run for the day is done
Another quest tomorrow will avenge sorrow

These are not my legs,
I’m watching myself from above
I wonder…
Are those mine
I can’t feel them, holy christ!
I can see them
My brains scrambled,
Astral projection, dmt and me
I can see,
Try to be me.

I’m all alone walking and I’m stoned feel the night rise behind my back I’ve got a flashlight but it’s still black
I think it’s lack of comprehension but I’m not sure there’s no simple way that I can cure the tension
Intervention, still alone hanging by a thread on the edge of the world
Oh, did I forget to mention
My dear you’ve gone to far
It was a slight intention by
Regression, back to basics
Stay to listen to my submission
While I revise my inclination.

My mind is mine, I love it so.
My time is timed, wish it would go slow
The bind is tight though I see the light
Intervening capsules of life defy the integrity of thought.
Insignificance has brought a rapture upon all that is lost.

To a local bar we went with the intention of having a drink and blowing off some steam. at this point in time I was at the end of a bad relationship, and could have never imagined what lye await that night.
We walked in took a left and sat down. As we watched the bar stools like hawks, I noticed this good looking man out of the corner of my eye. At the time I didn’t pay much attention to him, just a good looking guy right? Except there was something,
Some seats finally opened up at the bar and Michelle and I took our rightful seats, ordered a drink and the night began… Getting up to use the bathroom after two or three drinks, I came back to take my seat once again, low and behold he (The good looking guy from earlier) had the nerve to take my seat. Me feeling a little tipsy and ballsy decided to tap on his shoulder and give him a peace of mind because at that point I was not in the mood to play this game, I couldn’t believe this guy
He turned to me and with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face, he exclaimed he was sorry and gave me my seat back like a gentleman. I was impressed to say the least, But still just chalked it up to some bar banter. I’m not going to lie though my heart did begin to race a little, it was that feeling again But why was I feeling this with someone I just met we hadn’t even really talked what was I thinking, so we talk some more and suddenly we began kissing… God it was awesome I couldn’t stop myself it was like I released my body into his and everything fell into place exactly how it should have, it was like a storybook it felt amazing.
So here I am in a bar with my friend kissing a man I never met before, but it felt so right, so good. This kissing went on for a good hour and a half, this was in front of everyone in the bar and I could have given a shit less…then
it was time to go like someone blowing out of flame when it gets too tall, so we exchanged numbers and I left simple as that you say? (Oh no no no) certainly not. I Get in the car and knew I made a huge mistake, I needed to have him with me. If I didn’t act fast I might never see him again I told my friend this, she told me “go get him!”… so I ran back in as fast as I could. Was I wrong? was I making a mistake? was this a bad move? was he going to turn me down? who knows… I’m just going to do it. So I get up the nerve to run back in I spot him and I grab his arm and lead him to my car, he came! holy crap! he went with it! thank God!
What was I supposed to do now I had no idea, so I just went with it. We dropped Michelle off and went back to get his car, he asked me if I smoked I said I did, so we engaged in a bowl. It was awesome I finally had someone to smoke with. It was so relaxing and mellow to be hanging out with him He’s amazing, how did this happen?

Nowadays he’s the love of my life, I couldn’t have asked for anything more out of that one night at the bar.

I am just me,
D aring
A ccommodating
N eoteric
I nspiring
E empathetic
L evel headed
L oyal
E clectic

These are My attributes as well as my faults

Hello all!
My name is Danielle and I’ve been writing since I was 10 yrs old “not professionally” But for me, for my sanity for me to understand me! for me to understand other people and for me to make sense of the world. It’s something that always came natural when there was trauma in my life. somewhere I could hide from everything and hear myself out loud.
I think it’s the people who have a hard time getting their emotions out verbally in the presence of others, that make the best writers!
I’ve been inside out and upside down in my own head, It can be really scary sometimes and it can be very endearing at others.
I will end it with one of my favorite quotes from One of my favorite authors,
“I was not proud of what I had learned, but I never doubted that it was worth knowing.”
Hunter s. Thompson