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artistphilly shared a letter in the
Parenting group 1 month, 3 weeks ago An Apology to My Unborn Daughter: Reflections on Loss, Pain, and Regret
Rashan SpellerDear precious daughter,
I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart, as I never got the chance to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you. You were taken away from us too soon, and it has been a source of immense pain for me and your mother ever since.
I want to apologize to you for not being there for your mother after we lost you. I was in so much pain and felt so helpless that I didn’t know how to be there for her. I thought it was the right thing to do to distance myself from the situation, but looking back, I know that it only made things worse.
My inability to be there for your mother during that time caused a rift in our relationship that led to the eventual breakdown of our marriage. I know that I bear some responsibility for this, and it’s something that I have been carrying with me for a long time.
Losing you left a void in my life that nothing could ever fill. It felt like a part of me had been taken away, and I was unable to find any relief from the pain. But then, one day, you came to me in a dream, and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
You let me know that you are with me, even though I can’t hold you in my arms. You are here for me in my heart and my soul, and that has brought me some measure of comfort over the years. I still cry for you, thinking about how I wasn’t there for you and your mother when we needed each other the most.
I want you to know that you are loved and missed every day. I know that I can never make up for the pain that I caused, but I promise to honor your memory and carry you with me always.
Love always,
Your Father
I’m so sorry that you lost your daughter Rashan. I’m sure that must have been very hard for you. Sometimes in life we go through a lot of suffering wondering why things happen. I’m glad you were able to learn from your regrets and build yourself up for the future. We aren’t perfect but we learn from our past.
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Thank you for your kind words and understanding. It’s true that we all face challenges and regrets in life, but it’s important to learn from them and grow. Your empathy means a lot to me.
It can be helpful to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. Many people have faced similar challenges and have found ways to overcome them. It’s important to seek support from loved ones, friends, or professionals when we need it. And even though we can’t change the past, we can always choose to move forward and make positive changes in our lives. Thank you again for your kind words and support.
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Awww Rashan, I am sending you the absolute biggest hug. You need to forgive yourself. When people experience trauma like that it’s so hard for us to process that sometimes we don’t always deal with it in the best way possible, but it’s our brains just trying to protect ourselves from the immense pain. You clearly have a big and kind heart. So, be kind and forgiving to yourself. Your unborn baby felt your love, and for that she is very lucky. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. <3 Lauren
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😍 I have healed a lot since then gone to therapy to understand and speak about my feelings and grow from them. I even started a business with my daughters name so she can always be here with me.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you. God sends us signs when we need it most. I’m so glad that you have learned from your past experiences as far as being there for the ones you love goes. Losing someone you love brings great grief but loving and supporting those affected brings great healing. Gods speed.
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I appreciate you and the time you took to respond and send positive energy to me. Thank you and yes it was very hard but I know she is watching over me every day.
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Grief is a complex and individual experience, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Allow yourself the space to mourn, to cry, and to heal. Seek support from loved ones or consider speaking with a therapist who can help guide you through the healing process. The loss of your daughter put an incredible strain on both you and her mother, and the weight of that pain is not easy to bear. It’s important to offer yourself and others compassion as you navigate through this journey.
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