What’s in the way—
first thought of the day?

First thought of the day:

If I still knew how
to play pretend

first things first
I’d love my brain again.

“Have fun,”
they say.

Fun?

These days
I spend most days

running from
the very idea.

I don’t bother—
I don’t let “fun” bother me.

Instead,
it’s with peace

and ease
that I wish to
‘shoot the breeze.’

Everyday
I do my best—

I try.

Even when the only way
I know how
is

to cry.

No day is perfect
but what’s a day that’s as close to perfect as it can get?

It’s allowing it
to be okay

that my best looks different
depending on the day.

To trust that
to have it any other way

wouldn’t accomplish the same.

Because to live is
to survive
before it is to thrive.

Now what they don’t tell you
is thriving takes reviving.

And what remains
can’t be given a name—

until the day you can say
“I trust in you.”

And so I grew.

At las,
anew.

And new…
and new.

And I’ll continue to grow
let it show

bask in the afterglow

of the perfect day
on replay

with my someone else—
the one I never

gave up on
finding.

So when asked to describe
the perfect day

some might say
it’s bright.

When asked
I insist

they’re not quite right:

it’s blinding.

I’ve been going through some things…

I had a dream, it was something like Dr. Kings.
I had a dream, it was something like Dr. Kings
But I aint have the answers Sway, so I went somewhere and prayed.

I pray one day we all take the time out to read, so our minds will be set free. Slow down and end the programming of the music & the T.V.

I pray we become more conscious of the things we consume, redefine what we call food.
I pray we learn to nourish our mind, body & soul.
I pray one day as a people we become whole.
I pray one day, as brothers and sisters we can tend and mend each others broken wings.
I pray we can learn to do things from our heart, and not just to be seen.

I pray we truly believe we can fly! Without a basketball, backwood, sheets and funnel or whatever method it is you use to get high.

I pray we stop living just to get by.
I pray we use our voices to sing to the most high.
I pray we look in the mirror, acknowledge and turn from our wicked behavior. For let a man examine himself.

I pray we stop bragging about riches and strive for wealth. I pray we stop playing the game for self, the only way to win is to not even play.
I pray we all can sit and learn to pray.

I’m not a player, I’m a prayer.
I pray that those who think they have to keep it on them, pray that they never have to use it. It’s a war within ourselves and some things I pray we can learn to leave on the shelves and at the altar.

I pray we unlearn all the detrimental things they’ve taught us.
I pray we realize it’s a spiritual war for our souls, and that it’s all mental.
I pray we realize that sex is sacred, and learn to respect our temples.
I pray that when it gets dark, you can be light for your peers.
I pray that this prayer fall on open ears.
I pray we all learn to face our fears.

I pray we can acknowledge each other by name.
I pray that you recognize, I am you and you are me. We’re one in the same.
I pray we learn to hate fame. I pray that your spirit is renewed. Realizing you’re a fearless, righteous, educated and strong human. That’s F.R.E.S.H.

I pray you know you’re not lucky. But yes, you are blessed. And yes, I pray this prayer outlives me.
I pray you share and soak up all of this knowledge and wisdom I’ve given from my heart for free. Amen

As close to perfection
A day can get
It has to be filled with
Joy, laughter and a good time
Simplicity at its finest
I picture a day filled with love
Surprising my Bae with tickets
To see one of her favorite comedians
B. Simone
Not ruining the surprise
Being a little suspenseful
‘Cause the romance
Should never die
Keeping the spark alive
Laughing uncontrollably
From start to finish
Seeing that smile on her face
Means so much
Any day with you makes the world
Seem perfect
Even though we know that not to be true
You are quite a dream come true
Any other day that could even measure up
Would have to be filled with
Rest, relaxation, some good music and poetry
A warm bubble bath to soothe the tense muscles
Forgetting the troubles of the day or week
Allowing my self care to be my peace
Resetting my intentions
Cleansing my mind, body and spirit
A perfect day can lead to many blessings
I just pray for a day that is calm
That leads to memories to be cherished
And is close to my definition of perfection!

Streaks of gold sift through the slits of wood as I wake to feel the warmth caress my face.

Lips brushing against my forehead with silken kisses gently encouraging me to open my eyes.

A quiet conversation while slowly sipping cinnamon tea. I feel the heat in the curve of my hand as it transfers from my favorite ceramic mug.

Bringing me peace as I embrace the tranquility of the moment. The aroma enveloping my senses and perfuming the room.

I casually let my fingers slide over my wardrobe as I create my ensemble for the day.

The beauty of feeling unhurried and able to relish in the pleasure of selecting garments showcasing my individuality.

I fold my body into my girl, a brilliant blue Jeep, made naked as to relish the scents of spring and the whispers of the wind.

The destination not the priority. A leisurely excursion to escape the restlessness.

Taking in the warm breeze on a sunny afternoon. The radio playing my favorite songs, bringing back memories of times past.

The path followed as I sail through the countryside leaving thoughts of my younger years and dreams left along the way.

Stopping midday at a favorite cafe to indulge in a meal with my closest friend.

The conversation bringing joy to my soul as we talk lightly and laugh loudly without reservation.

Smiling as I head back home with the hours on the backside of the day. Time moving slowly and shadows appearing as the miles drift by.

I lace my shoes and head out into nature to indulge in the solitude of running alone. This too invoking feelings of pure satisfaction.

Allowing for silent meditation and a chance to release the burdens held within. The one true moment of peace as I feel the calmness radiating throughout my body.

As day cascades into night I welcome the quiet of the evening with the one I hold dear.

Welcomed home with a sweet embrace. The beauty of detailing our day in an encouraging exchange.

The sun slowly fading and capturing the last remnants of this beautiful moment in time.

I climb into the comfort of our bed with the arms of my beloved pulling me near.

I drift off knowing I wouldn’t change a thing. Time stands still as I recall the perfect day.

This day starts with me opening my eyes to give thanks.
Thanks to My King, My God, for soothing my soul.
Allowing me to wake up in absolute peace and feel whole.
I feel as though I’m lying in the clouds,
emotionally safe and secure as I embrace this moment.
This is my state of euphoria, and I emphatically own it.
My mind methodically plans for what lies ahead
as the lyrics to melodic tunes play in my head.
My perfect day has just begun.

The routine of my day has never been so smooth
I patiently take my time constructing my look to fit my mood
From head to toe…
My glow, my fit, my flow.
I look in the mirror, pleased with what I see,
comfortable in my skin and free to be me.

As I head out into the world and follow my script
I long for the taste of some java, retail therapy, and a favorite flick
Why? These are the makings of me.
The smile on my face and the confidence in my walk.
I could live out this day many times over.
No stress, no strife, no roadblocks ahead.
My perfect day is far from over.

This day is just what I’ve made it
with the blessings I’ve been given.
The strength to get up and live my life.
The mindset to understand that life is what I make it.
The love that I have for myself to do the things that make me happy.
Most of all, knowing that every day is a gift
and not to be taken lightly.

As the evening rolls in and slows down my perfect day,
I pull up a seat at my favorite speakeasy without dismay.
There to indulge, I partake in a lovely, herbaceous and tart,
yet ever-so-sweet libation,
as I wait for this day to deliver its final culmination.
Not sad to see it go by any means,
because I know there will be many more days like this to be seen.
Perfect in every way.
Just me living, loving, and enjoying my fulfilling day.

While reminiscing about this day, I sit back and say…
There was nothing particularly special.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Just a day of me doing me.
I suppose that’s what makes it so perfect,
it reminds me to just be.
A perfect day, for a perfect me.

one day it’s dark,
actually, it’s been dark, for months,
so dark that one could not see in front of them.

however now —
now, there is light.

at the flip of a switch what was once dark — is bright.

the gloomy cloud has passed,
the rain has stopped,
beautiful rainbows begin to appear.

sunlight glistens over the waterfront,
sunlight that makes brown eyes turn to honey,
warmth of light that gives you hope,
fills you full of glee.

the shadows hide away,
the light is beaming,
i can see again,
i can slow down.

i can feel positivity in all that surrounds me.

beauty is in this life,
beauty is all around.

skies turn to cotton candy,
lovers turn to home.

no longer lost,
everything i have longed for,
lays before me.

i see clearly again.

this is who i am.

i am the sunshine,
the light,
the gleeful warmth.

the switch flipped,
my light is now on,
newfound growth shines from within,
creating greater hope for tomorrow.

We always get asked what’s your ideal “perfect day,”
As I’ve gotten older, it’s changed in so many ways.
The place I’m at in my life, it’s very simplistic,
Especially since I’ve grown, aged and learned so much about myself.
A perfect day for me is actually by myself,
It’s an every Friday thing that I always do.
Waking up to sun shining bright through my window,
As I open the shades in my apartment to embrace nature.
I start my day drinking warm water to open my stomach,
Then making myself a good breakfast which consists of waffles, a muffin and fruit.
Next comes stretching my body and packing my bag,
To venture out into the world, embrace and appreciate nature.
I put on my helmet, put on my earplugs, put my backpack on my back,
Hopping on my bike to go on a nice bike ride through my neighborhood.
As I ride my bike and cross streets, I’m appreciating the sunlight hitting my skin,
As my eyes look at the world from behind my sunglasses.
I look at the mountains as it becomes beautiful scenery,
Making my way to a long bike path to get a few miles in.
The music playing can be anything from hip-hop to lofi music,
Most of the time, it’s a playlist I created where I don’t skip songs.
There are people on the path walking or biking, sometimes it’s a good morning,
Most times, it’s just me being in the moment and thinking about nothing.
After three miles, it’s off to the basketball court,
To get a workout in where it’s me, my basketball and the rim.
For an hour and a half, it’s working out, people watching and listening to music,
There isn’t a care in the world, no lists to do, no phone calls,
No social media, no text messages, my world is quiet.
After a workout, it’s resting and recovering my body,
Friday nights sometimes consist of me watching something that will give me content ideas.
It’s reflection of my week, goals I’ve accomplished, talking to my mom,
She always finds a way to say something funny and we crack jokes.
It’s funny how as we get older, life becomes simpler,
It’s the little things that make us happy and feel fulfilled.
The joy and happiness I feel spending time in nature brings perspective to my life,
It’s what I’ve longed for and now, it’s become a beautiful reality…

Jamell Crouthers

My day could start in ashen gray
like dried-up winter weed bouquets,
but then my grandson shrieks, “Mammay!”
and color swirls in rich array.

A fingerpainted masterpiece
infused with snacks and sweetened tea–
bright backdrop for the tales we read,
immersed in toddler fantasy.

Flamboyant toys conceal the floor,
confetti from a plastic war
that ranged from couch to Singapore–
and now he begs to go outdoors.

Bemusement stains pale cherub cheeks
and nature springs delighted shrieks
when stones splash into frothy creeks
or bluebird skies frame honking geese.

Aweary fingers grab my hand,
for will alone cannot withstand
the golden grains of sleepy sand;
I lull him into lala land.

Reflection on this drowsing dear
who celebrates with heartfelt cheer
the wonderment of Gaia’s sphere
is every dark mood’s rainbow cure.

An alarm-clock-free morning,
There’s nothing more soothing.
I took my first sip of coffee
As I lounged by the window,
Absorbing the beauty of a day minus responsibilities.
“I love everything about today,”
I affirmed, consumed by my thoughts:

Maybe, I’ll make the hour-long drive
To my favorite beach,
Visit a couple of discount stores,
Or stop by that cozy little restaurant, I adore,
For a savory meal and a delicious treat.

I could always search for
A binge-worthy show,
Grab a bottle of Chardonnay,
Pop some popcorn and snack,
Until I drift off into the most pleasant sleep,
Cultivating the sweetest dreams.

“You know what?”
I ask myself aimlessly…
“You’re overthinking it…
The only way today will be perfect
Is if I do all of these things.”
So, I did.

What is a perfect day? Well, in all honesty, there’s no such thing. I could sit here and think about all the things that make life seem perfect. I’d rather not. That would make way for my mind to validate why other days aren’t “perfect”. Life is life. There’s no way around it.

Perfect is undefinable, an opinion. An opinion I’m learning to stay away from after chasing it for most of my life. I’ve learned trying to be perfect and looking for perfection is a downhill spiral. I will never be truly happy in search of this. I’ve tried to be perfect in academics and sports, yet I’ve always been extremley hard on myself when I mess up. I’ve tried finding the perfect significant other, yet look for every reason why they aren’t. I’ve tried to be perfect at my job, yet feel guilt when I can’t do everything the exact way I want it to. The list goes on.

But guess what? I am human! Humans aren’t meant to be perfect. We are meant to fail and learn. We are meant to get embarrassed and be humbled. We are meant for rejection and leaning into introspection. Humans are meant to make a fool of themselves and change into the person they want to become. Nobody gets out of here perfect, and if someone acts as if they do, they’ve lost touch with reality.

I’m learning to be grateful for the small things. I’m learning to have hope when I feel like giving up. I’m learning life isn’t all or nothing. I’m learning giving my best is going to different at times and that’s okay. I don’t need to wait until I feel things are perfect to take action. I take action, giving it my best effort that day, and there’s nothing more I can do.

To be honest, I still feel I’m trying to find the perfect sentences, the perfect thoughts, to produce the perfect writing piece. But hey, I’m a human and still on my learning journey. Embracing truth within myself and the world and learning to be real is my new defined definition of what I thought I was searching for in perfection.

My perfect day oh perfect day
I feel like living my life my way
If I lose the joy of living my life
My reasonable happiness leaves me with my strife
I better be living this time of year
It don’t matter if I shed a tear
If I’m not living happy or not
Forever in a web I shall be caught
My perfect day oh perfect day
My life shall go on I shall have no dismay
If I am not happy alive or dead
Then off the world goes with my head
I want to live, that is my way
My perfect day oh perfect day

My perfect day oh perfect day
Life shall go on or so they say
I want to live for I am free
To do many things of value I see
I love to play music even swim
I don’t care if my body is slim
I live my life breathing and glad
Glad I don’t die, man that would be bad
I ain’t afraid to be called up yonder
But it ain’t my time yet so it I won’t ponder
My life is mine I won’t be swayed
My perfect day oh perfect day

I stayed in bed
until I reached
the outskirts of morning.

The birds gave pep talks
instead of songs.

I got changed
and found ten dollars
in my pocket.

It’s summer but it rained
and I wonder why nobody
has made laundry powder
that smells exactly like this.

I make the perfect eggs.

The toaster
that loves to burns the edges
leaves them edible.
I thank it for its kindness.

I go outside and jump in a puddle.
There is still that childhood dream
that it will be a portal
to an alternative dimension.
One where Netflix didn’t cancel the OA.
One where we could trade
our sadness for money.
Gosh, would I be filthy rich.

Me and the neighbour
do our awkward dance.
The small talk jive.
We bow and say
‘have a nice day!’
We really mean it.

I walk to the coffee shop
and the sky is still
rubbing sleep from its eyes.

The wind is playing solos
on telephone wires.

I hold the door for a stranger
and we share a smile.

I tell the barista a joke
and we both laugh
at how unfunny it is.

I take the ten dollars
and order a flat white, one sugar.
I say keep the change.

I find a bench, and I ruminate.

I realise
Happiness is right here –
why are we crying
like it is so far away?

Hello my friend
May I share with you my perfect day?
I hope you’ll stay until the very end.
First I wake with the golden sun, grateful and joyful – I pray.
Hydrate and fill this vessel with fuel
Moving and stretching keeps my emotions cool
Giving thanks for each moment I’m given
This life flows with grace like a ribbon
My love then goes freely to all of Gods creatures
The large and small – all have different features
Life sweet like the slow drip of honey straight from the comb
I never rush, worry or stress because I know in my heart, I am always home.

In my perfect day
You’d still be here
We would be sipping coffee
By the pier
Watching the morning sunrise
Seeing the glimmer in your eyes

In my perfect day
We would read underneath palm trees
Taking in the ocean breeze
Snapping memories that will never leave

In my perfect day
Cancer wouldn’t exist
Taking you away
Would be completely dismissed

In my perfect day
We would watch the sunset by the water
You would never leave
I’d still have my father

In my perfect day
I would live inside a world
Where there would be no fear
And when the day is done
You would still be here

Another day rises from the ground
But with a different flavor to it
A day of traveling and clearing the cluttered mind
And also creating a wonderful time

Let the special day start with eating some delicious breakfast
Food that speaks to my soul
That makes me feel whole
And inspires me to conquer the road

When the road and I meet
Some of my favorite songs and I greet
Like it’s the first time
We’re getting to know each other’s mind
As I unwind during this special time

While jamming and cruising on an unknown highway
Various historical statues and beautiful land catch my eye
Giving me a positive high
That I don’t want to end
But continue to ascend

And embrace this rare feeling
A beautiful beach awaits me
And hypnotizes my eyes
With its waves

It waves at me and says ‘’come on in’’
But, before I take my first jump
I just want to stare at its beauty
And take a million pictures of it

Then I charge to the calming water
Like a soldier ready to do battle
But only remain in the safety zone
While watching others enjoy themselves

The perfect ending to a perfect day
It would be great to have another perfect day tomorrow
If only this could become a reality.
For now, wishing and dreaming about it will surface

Sincerely,
Gerald

The perfect day for me is a day without pain
Because I go to sleep sad and I wake up insane
The perfect day for me is a day without stress
Because I walk around like I’m happy but deep down I’m depressed
I smile to keep from crying I smile because it’s all you can do
The perfect day for me is the day that I’m at peace with you
Amen

What is a “perfect day”?

My head rested heavily on the pillow. Memories of the long day swirled in my mind. Exhausted, but content from my perfect day.
The empty tea mug was set gently in the dishwasher. My book lay closed by my ruffled bed. Sleep was calling.
A movie left unfinished, the kitchen was clean. House reset for another day.
The evening had been bustling with dinner preparations. The counters dusted with flour, pans, and spices. The food sizzled on the stove. Dessert wafted through the room.
Sunset called the evening home as we walked along the water. My darling pup ran in ahead as the city lights danced in the eyes of my lover.
The afternoon vanished from sight as pages were written, rewritten, and tossed. The book was being born.
Lunch was a quick salad break from a morning of creativity. Papers were strewn across the floor, books on the coffee table, and my favorite mug forgotten amongst the piles. My typewriter pierced the air with the prattle of the keys. Ringing to remind me I was at a new line.
The late morning awakened my senses as I sat in a quiet coffee shop, mulling over plot lines, speaking commitments, and blog fantasies.
Breakfast was a moment of calm before the crazy, my mind released all emotion and thought as I journaled a planned my day. The pup dashed around the house, energetic from the morning run.
Water gushed from the faucet sputtering in protest from the shower head. I washed all sweat and worry away, hopeful for a new day.
The sun crept from behind buildings and slowly woke up from its sleep. I smiled, walking back from the gym. Another beautiful start to another beautiful day.
My mind woke up moments before I pulled myself out of bed, my lover squeezed my hand as I left for the gym.
What is a perfect day if not one spent doing what you love with who you love.

Get out of bed
One leg after the other
Feel the sunshine
Thank you earth mother
Move my body
Energy rediscovered
Indulge in good food
Dopamine wonders
Learn something novel
A new lens uncovered
Protect my peace
If needed from others
Feel connected
With another
Rest and reflect
A time to uncover
Close my eyes and know
With love,
Today I colored

I’ve awoken
in cars
off a shoulder
overlooking the sea
started my day
with morphine
and coffee
and vomit on the street
I’ve awoken
in deserts
under one single tree
beside strangers
on carpets
slipped away quietly
I’ve driven til shadows
melt into sands
and the stars bleed
into purples and pinks
when cold weather
has dried out my hands
and I’m too hungover
to speak
I’ve awoken
in twin beds
in distant lands
with lillies draping my canopy
with no one around
to marvel at scenery
with me
throughout this wide world
all my wheel’s quick rotations
all the planes
and the trains
and the rides
from London’s Heathrow
to Grand Central Station
every dawn
I’ve awoken
to rise
everyday is impeccable
all the struggles
and pain
so delectable
as the earth
flips through the slides
in my eyes a
projection of beauty
the greatest adventures
the prefect day
is the day
I’m alive
and I live it
and seize it—no matter the risk
perfection is this
what we all
wake up with
this wonderful gift
all scared and excited
to be welcome; invited
to live for the sake of living
to rise and to fall
to feel love and
feel lost
and the awe to awaken—
awaken at all.

Our day starts with coffee. Black, no sugar and two creams. Just how you like it. I would pour myself a cup too, even though I hate coffee, and sit both coffees on the end table by your rocking chair. I can hear your voice now: “Thank you baby.” Your voice hoarse from years of labor. We would pick our cups up and sip at the same time. Well, not quite at the same time. I always forget to blow my drink first and burn my tongue. My face twisted up in pain. Whereas, you always blow your drink first and never take on more than you can bear. Literally and figuratively. Now that I am older, I admire how still you can be. Sitting, day after day, in the comfort of your rocking chair, drinking your coffee and watching Lifetime movies. I relish that stillness. On my perfect day I will definitely have to be still. I wouldn’t want to do anything at all, but put my feet up and drink bitter coffee. To some people the perfect day is a day on the beach but any day spent being still with you would be perfect to me. I would get hungry about halfway through my cup. My stomach growls, which prompts you to rock yourself out of your chair and head to the kitchen. Your walk weary from years of service on your feet. Following behind you, I grab a plate off of the table and hand it to you. You fill it with grits, sausage, eggs, french toast, a waffle and bacon. I could have made my plate, but you always made it for me. “Just sit down at the table, baby. I got your plate.” With an orange juice to match, I sit at the dining table and go to town. With a full belly, I waddle back to the love seat right next to your chair. I look outside and see kids playing, but I don’t feel that pain in my stomach anymore. Growing up without someone to play with and share secrets with has always weighed heavy on me. I carried loneliness with me throughout my adolescent and teenage years. Always an onlooker, a wallflower, the bullied. My perfect day I will not have those feelings or be consumed with looking to something that I don’t have. Even though I didn’t have a friend my age, I had a friend who didn’t mind drinking coffee and watching movies with me on a random Saturday morning. She might have been fifty years older than me, but she was my best friend. She never turned me away and she always made me feel like I belonged. If I can have one more day spent with you, just being still, that will be the perfect day. And I do have a secret to tell you, best friend. I miss you and I still hate coffee.