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Ashley M Dowd shared a letter in the
Parenting group 11 months, 3 weeks ago A Mother's Broken Heart in Manuscript
Ashley DowdNever in a million years would I have ever thought it would be YOU.
To bring my heart so much pain like throwing salt on an open wound
You were my why and one of the most special gifts from God that I truly admired.
Wanting the best life for you gave me reason to work harder.
I wanted to be the mother to you that I always longed for and
what was once a blessing now seems like a curse
Oh, how I never thought the tables would turn.
Though I will always love you my heart resembles a broken glass and
Though pain and disappointment has cut me so deep
I just cover it up with a mask.
How could you say you love me yet cause me so much pain
I’m constantly worried and praying for you.
while you’re out without a care in the world dancing in the rain
When you sit back and reflect on your life
All of your happiest moments were due to MY sacrifice.
Now I’m lucky if you would even consider my advice
You have transformed from my baby, my first love
To a person that’s intentionally toxic in my life and
As I try to figure out what caused this change I have yet to figure out why
But as much as you have hurt me
I cant find it in my heart not to love you
Just know my objective was always to the best mom I could ever be to you
But with the results I see I count it as a mission failed
But I know God can change anything.
So in the meantime, I’m waiting for him to prevail.
This is so beautiful at the same time so sad. I can feel the love and pain through this message so deeply, because I have a daughter to who I had wished growing up wouldn’t do the same to me, as we were so close and only had each other; and Thank God she didn’t. We had our ups and downs, but most was up and still is today. But I now have a granddaughter to whom I’m very close, almost as close as I was with my daughter. Right now she’s 14yrs of age and we’re very close right now, but it scars me that one day she may change our relationship due to outside influences. I love her so deeply and when they hurt you, there’s no other hurt that is worse than it. All the other pain you endure during your lifetime, has nothing on the pain and hurt you feel from a love one. So I feel you and I pray for you in hopes that your love one won’t truly forget what thy had and still have in you.
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Aww thanks for your feedback I wrote this poem when my oldest daughter was experiencing a teenage crisis she was 16 and in love for the first time while acting out and being defiant but I can proudly say she has turned over a new leaf and our close knit relationship has resumed she has two kids now by her first love from back then but all and all that experience taught me a lot about parenting and the importance of patience, prayer and self-control. This poem is a keepsake token of one of my toughest experiences with parenting.
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Motherhood is so hard. I have a daughter myself she’s still so little but that doesn’t keep me from thinking that I’m not doing enough. I don’t want her and I to have the same relationship as I did with my mother but the thought of that happening still haunts me. God will prevail he always does. Gods speed. <3
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He definitely will, that you can believe. Don’t think that you will make the same mistake your mother may have made that would interfere in you and your daughters relationship. You are your own person and you don’t have to follow in her footsteps. Motherhood is and will always be hard, but all we have to do and it may sound easy, but it’s not, and that is the do the best we can in everything we do. We’re examples for our children and what we shouldn’t do, is make Huge unbelievable mistakes that could have been avoided that we don’t want our children to make. God Bless going forward!
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This made me cry and I can truly relate to struggling with a teenage child, feeling like a failure, and waiting for Gods promises to turn things around. Thank you for speaking the truths about parenting. I think it is so important to know that we are not alone. Everyone always tells me it wont always be this way. In my heart I know this is true, but the waiting process is painful. I have tried everything, but I feel it’s never enough. Just keep loving on your baby, keep praying. I look forward to seeing an updated piece about how God worked it all out! Sending my love! Keep your head up momma!!!
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Hello Ashley,
I am sure your child will come around and one day bring you the happiness you deserve.
Shelley
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