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  • Hannah G. shared a letter in the Group logo of Magical MomentsMagical Moments group 12 months ago

    The Three Best Words

    Dear Memere G,

    Our time with you was always filled with special moments, moments filled with adventures that fostered in me a sense of awe and wonder. Though the days could get busy you always made sure we had a few moments impregnated with silence and rest. You spoiled us to no end with the quality time and the many extravagant gifts you gave us. We had the best dress up closet me and my sisters could’ve ever asked for. But most importantly you always made sure that we knew we were loved.

    Even when you had Alzhiemer’s and you couldn’t remember exactly who I was you always found ways to assure me of your love. I remember the day two of your friends came to visit you at the nursing home that you were living at. I was chaperoning this visit to make sure they wouldn’t make you agitated. They didn’t understand the nature of your illness and kept asking you if you remembered specific moments from the past. I wanted to tell them off because I know you were having a hard time, but I didn’t know how. Finally they were going to leave. They wanted and tried but with no avail to have you say “I love you” to them. I knew you were searching for the words but couldn’t find them. After a few minutes of trying to get you to say it they left. I stayed a little longer with you enjoying our time together even if you couldn’t find the words to say. Then about 10 minutes after your two friends left you said “I love you,” clearly, coherently, and confidently. I was so shocked and moved by this special gift that you bestowed upon me. These would be the last coherent words you would say to me.

    This meant more to me than anything else. I knew how hard you had to work to find and form those words. I know how your brain was working against you. These words weren’t just words, they were treasures. As a person who has been bullied most of my life I haven’t always been so sure that I was loved. My anxiety and depression convinced me that people didn’t like, nor care about me. Faculty seemed to ignore me or not care when I told them about the bullying. That’s why your words meant so much. I have to think that that’s why you chose to say those words to me, so I always knew that there was someone who loved me. Through a sea of static you showed waves of your love.

    I want you to know Memere, that even though you aren’t with us anymore I still love you and I always will.

    Until we are reunited again,

    Hannah G.

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    • This is a beautiful letter. I’m sure she’s looking down and smiling at what a genuine person you are. How beautiful your words are reflect the beauty and love she showed you. Beautiful.

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      • Thank you for your kind comment. I’m literally tearing up right now. All I want is to make my loved ones (living and deceased) proud of me. My memere was definitely one of the most beautiful souls I had the opportunity of meeting. I miss her dearly.

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    • I so love this, it truly touched me, because my mom, as well as my father had Alzheimer’s and both was in a nursing home at the end. It bothered me that they had to be in a place like that, but I (we) couldn’t help them with such a disease and we truly tried, but it really bothered me that my mom was in such a place. I hated so much that they didn’t know us at the end, but in my heart, I think my mom did, because each time I (we the family) showed up, she felt and looked so much more comfortable when we were around. She would even sleep in peace as we’re in her room talking to each other. So this was the most saddest time in our (my) life to watch them dissolved right in the front of our faces, when once they retired, they should have been enjoying their lives.

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      • @kmimsrice I truly believe that even though they may not have been able to name or recognize us cognitively something in their heart knows who we are. When my memere was in the nursing home we would visit a few times a week. When my dad (her son) stepped foot in the room she would light up. I know in my heart that she knew we were family and that we loved her very much.

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        • You’re right, I know somewhere deep inside of them, they know who we are, maybe not the name, whether we’re family or not, but they recognized that familiarity the comfort of that particular person, and they feel more at ease and loved. Each time I walked into my mom’s room at the nursing home, I too felt so good, that I was there to protect her for the time I’m there. Not sure exactly what’s going on when I’m not there, but once I walk in, I take control of her. I wasn’t sure what was going on when I wasn’t there, but I know it wasn’t much, because I was there 2-3 times a day most days. My mom had to be moved between been in 2-3 nursing homes, while living in them, one of them was shut down; and each one of them was no more than 4-5 blocks from my home. It didn’t take me much time to get there, if anything popped off. That alone bothered them, so they didn’t have too much toe to get away with anything, but I view her and every part of her body when I got there, like an investigator. I didn’t play with them about my mom and they knew it.

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